Unsupervised Teenagers

[mkhurley]

Originally Posted by carolina_yankee

Great idea in principle - but don't you think guys from other states will be all over the idea of writing their state on the girls t-shirts? (Or vice versa?)

This could turn into a great "Oh now they didn't!" post!!

Dirk

Not if they go that first week in June being discussed elsewhere..........

[7swans]

Thanks everyone, Great ideas! It is so fun to come home & see so many posts on your thread!
We are all getting pretty excited about the trip. We met with the students today.
I asked them to raise their hands if they have ever been to WDW, only about 5 or 6 out of 35 have been there before.

I had been trying to think of a practical way to reward them for good behavior & the completed scavenger hunts. The raffle idea is a possible solution.

We handed out room assignments today, everyone seemed pleased, it is a relief to have that behind us.

We will be paying for airfare, our tickets, our rooms, and our dining cards this week.

Thanks everyone!

[tinker_me_happy]

The only time I encountered rude teenage behavior was also that from groups of teens from Brazil. It was the most HORRIBLE behavior, not even worth repeating. Line skipping was done EVERY WHERE, and they acted like they had the "Right" to do what ever THEY wanted. The few chaperones that were with them would turn and look the other way when they saw any bad behavior. One thing I would encourage your teens to do is if they want to join up in a line with their friends, have the ones in front move to the rear to meet up rather than have some cut in. I am sure your teens will be polite and respectful, in part because that is what you expect of them.

Good Luck and Have Fun!

[Kynna]

7Swans you are going to have a great trip. I love the fact that the thread didn't become a teenager bashing opportunity and instead everyone people offer great way to help the kids solicit the respect they deserve from others. You wouldn't beleive how many times I've seen kids get their feelings hurt by an adult who just assumed they were up to no good. I could tell you stories that would make your toes curl.

I would point out to them that to the children at the parks they are essentially adults. Conversations that are to mature for kids who may be around them should be saved for another time when little ears might be listening.

The important and tricky part about it is being clear on your expectations without being condescending. From the sounds of your posts it seems that you really care about the kids and want them to have a great time. Once your teens tune into that they will rise to the occasion.

[7swans]

Originally Posted by Kynna

7Swans you are going to have a great trip. I love the fact that the thread didn't become a teenager bashing opportunity and instead everyone people offer great way to help the kids solicit the respect they deserve from others. You wouldn't beleive how many times I've seen kids get their feelings hurt by an adult who just assumed they were up to no good. I could tell you stories that would make your toes curl.

I would point out to them that to the children at the parks they are essentially adults. Conversations that are to mature for kids who may be around them should be saved for another time when little ears might be listening.

The important and tricky part about it is being clear on your expectations without being condescending. From the sounds of your posts it seems that you really care about the kids and want them to have a great time. Once your teens tune into that they will rise to the occasion.

Thanks for the encouragement!

I will be sure to make the 'adult conversation' point.

You hit the nail on the head, the difficulty is in gaining their attention & respect without sounding like an overbearing paranoid grown-up.

I chaperoned a trip to the Cleveland Playhouse this week, our students were much better behaved than some of the other groups there. That was encouraging!

Rozzie should you happen to read this thread, the play was "Pride & Prejudice!"

[greenban]

Originally Posted by glypnirsgirl

I believe that your kids will meet your expectations. By that, I mean that if you assume in talking to them that you will be proud of them and suggest that they think of ways to enhance each others and strangers experience and how much fun it is to make someone's day, they will do so.

While I was saving up money for college (and was a part-time student at a junior college) I waitressed in a restaurant near SMU, a campus full of highly privileged students. I was normally treated well by them. What was surprising to me was the high school students that would come in to town for conferences and camps (cheerleaders especially) - they were almost always uniformly nice to me. Much nicer than I expected.

I am old and fat now. I could easily be the butt of jokes from teenagers. If I see that someone is gearing up to be ugly to me, I head them off at the pass, I simply start asking them questions. Where are you from? Have you been here before? What have you enjoyed the most? (If they have been there many times) What should I make sure that I see? What do you think most people miss that you really like?

It is amazing that almost no one can be rude to someone that is treating them well.

One of the things that one of my friends that teaches special education students always tells her students before an outing is, "Isn't it nicer to exceed someone's expectations instead of living down to them? Don't you want people to think, "well aren't they wonderful" instead of something not nice.

I am sure that your kids will be wonderful!

Elaine

Mee Too.

While nothing anyone could say about me, matters the least to me, once one of my children came crying to me about something someone else said about me, that she overheard. So, Elaine, I really like your idea, and think it is great for all, not just us fat old farts.

With my kids, they have been taught by word and example, to leave everywhere cleaner than when we came in. We pick up litter on our way into McDonalds, or blowing around the parks at WDW. I have also taugh my children to talk to 'neglected' people. Lonely seniors, 'funny looking' or different acting kids as well as obviously handicapped people (wheelchairs, braces and Down's and the like). Besides doing something nice for someone else, we are rewarded by a warm smile and a bright shine from the receipent's eyes. I consider it a Mitzvah as well.

If you really want to drive home the action, perhaps some role playing with your teens. Have one pretend to have a handicap, another two pretend to be that child's parents or siblings, and have one or two others be mean and disrespectful, then walk away. Then have the family react, speaking what they were thinking aloud. "If they only knew our son, how hard he struggles to..... I would take that pain myself if I could. I just want to go back to my room and cry., etc." Perhaps have a sibling cry, "why were they so mean....."

Then follow up with a brief, ideal encounter.... "Hi, what's your name, how do you like Disney, what's your favorite ride, etc." This time let the parents say, "What nice kids/teens, how nice, Wow that made our day, etc." Finally when the 'nice' teens walk away, one could say, "Hey man that was really cool!" or the like.

I think since you are alreasy sensative to potential problems, that your group won't be one of the problem groups.

Good luck!

-Tony

[OttawaWendy]

I work with our church youth group and my youth are really extremely responsible when they are away from their parents. I think that is because I expect a lot from them. We recently went on a weekend retreat and the other two leaders couldn't be there at the last minute, and I never had to go into the kitchen - they prepared and cooked meals and cleaned up without my supervision (of course, it has taken time to get to that point).

One of the things that I find is that they listen to each other better than to adults. It is almost instinctive at this age to assume that adults will ask too much of you, but when they are asked by their peers, it becomes ok. So we have leaders for each activity (i.e. cooking dinner) and they are in charge of getting it done. We've had lots of discussions about what makes a good team leader and what makes a good team member, and they've experienced first hand how frustrating it is trying to get something done when others are goofing around. So they have a lot more responsibility.

One of the things this has led to is that they enforce "rules" and respect on each other. They run wild when it is appropriate, but if one of them isn't being serious during a serious discussion, the rest of them call him on it.

So... in terms of a bunch of high school students, I would ask them what kind of behaviour they think is appropriate, what kind of behaviour shows them to be mature, and what kind of behaviour in their peers doesn't reflect badly on them. And then I would give them explicit permission to call each other on inappropriate behaviour. You could even say "so if you lost it a little, and did something inappropriate, what would you want a friend to say to you?". My guess is that you'd get a reasonable list of things, and then you can say to all of them "don't be afraid to use this list. How one of you acts reflects on all of you, so you are each responsible for your own behaviour, and for the behaviour of others in our group."

Another story, but maybe not very useful: One of the leaders in my group teaches Inuit students from the far north of Canada. In Inuit cultures, elders are treated with a respect that is unknown in typical North American culture. Like royalty is the closest I can describe. So a few years ago the Inuit students come to our church to perform their dancing and throat-singing, and there's a buffet dinner. True to form, we all rush up to eat. One of the Inuit students (maybe she's 18) actually starts to cry because she was so upset at how rude that was to the elders (in Inuit culture, all the elders would go first, or would be brought their food, before anyone else even considered going up). When we told our youth that story, they were ashamed. Anything that gets them to acknowledge the needs of others is contrary to the general message of our society (which is all about putting yourself first), and is good.

[dianeschlicht]

Your ideas to engage in conversation when you hear young people acting up is a good one. I have done that many times in line, and sometimes just to help out a poor parent who is struggling with an overtired youngster who doesn't want to go along with the program. Once, I came across a group of high schoolers from Australia at Disneyland. I was by myself because I had gone along to Anaheim with my DH who had to go for his job. The kids were all waiting for Big THunder Mountain and jeering at one of their group who was afraid to go. I told him if "grandma" could ride, it wasn't that scary, and that he should ride with me. He did, and he loved it!! I then continued to escort them around the park for a couple hours and both they and I had a great time! Later in the day, I kept running into them, and they always greeted me as "grandma". Kids of any age up to 18 or so will respond to respect with respect if given a chance.

I think the way you are handling them before the trip is perfect!

[7swans]

Thanks that was kind of you to say.
We will be chaperoning @ prom this Saturday, another chance to observe our group!
I will be working on the 'the talk' over the next few days and likely deliver it late next week.
I will let you all know how it goes.


Our park hoppers & dining cards arrived, won't be long now !

[Hallfamily4]

I'm getting excited for you! This is going to be a wonderful trip of a lifetime for these students. They are so lucky to have someone like you who is so involved.
I enjoy reading your posts, and can't wait to read your trip report when you return. It won't be long!!