Am I being a meanie?

[gopherit]

Well, I'm doing my usual trip-planning for next summer. In about 9 mos, our fam will go to WDW on another of our 2 week adventures. We plan to hit US/IOA for the first time this trip, plus about 8 days at OKW / WDW.

And thus far... I've said nothing to extended family about it.

Is that wrong of me?

For the past 2 trips, we have taken BIL/SIL and their kids with us. But they did a family "add-on" of their own this spring and now have 3 kids. That's just too many people for us to manage, LOL. They would need at the very least their own studio. We tried to get them to look into buying DVC for themselves during our last trip... but it seems they would rather buy a boat instead. Our families knows we plan a big 2-week summer trip like this every other year, around my/dh's anniversary week. I'd love to get MIL/FIL to go with us (and we could make that work, with the boys on the sleeper, DH and I in a queen, dd5 in a queen, and ILs in the master). But I know MIL well enough to know she WON'T travel, and then it would become a big travel mess, with who gets to go where, etc. My mom won't go again (she said she's "done" with WDW, LOL!) I'd love for my brother to go, but until he's done iwth the military it's so hard to plan a trip with him! PLus - he too has 3 kids and has "outsized" our ability to accommodate his crew this year! As for BIL/SIL... I already sensed I was getting "hints" at our last visit there in July. Maybe not... but it seemed that way.

My kingdom to have thousands of points I could just dole out, because we do love having family with us... but I just hate the logisitics of planning for them. And as I said, this year, we are very points lean.

I told DH I would not mention anything about the WDW trip and play it low key, and if they bring it up, I would simply say, "Yes, we are going during these dates." And if anyone presses it further, and they espress a desire to come to WDW that summer too, I would say, "That's great - will you be getting a villa at OKW too or staying elsewhere?" In other words - not exclude them but make it clear that the travel planning for their party is up to them. I could be wrong, but I have a feeling, given that option - we will most likely travel alone.

Whaddya think?

[PoohsPal]

Not mean. You should not feel obligated to take anyone. The'r "add-on" has made it out of your points capability. I would let them know that if they seem to wonder why they were not invited. Yes, there's a reason my ILs don't know about our DVC. We haven't even taken our first trip and db's wife has asked a few times if we knew what we were doing with out points. I don't think they'd take advantage of us, but it's kind of funny. When we do have x-tra points (after August 07) I will glad ly sell them my points at my cost. Still a very good deal. Maybe I'l feel more generous by then, but if they have to pay something, it will make them less likely to take advantage of teh situation. It may also be different if we're going down that time anyway.

[DSNY FN]

No not at all mind you that being said I have to say for me it feels very strange going with just DW and the kids we have only had 2 trips that were just me and teh wife and kids and 1 just Dw and I. We usually have somone from either family coming with us it just seems more like a Disney trip when we have freinds and family there with us well to me anyhow.

[mamaprincess]

You're so sweet to even feel mean because you can no longer accomodate them. It is what it is. They are going to have to get their own accomidations. Hopefully, they have looked at your generosity as a privilege and not a right. I believe they will understand. Perhaps help them by pointing them in the direction of renting points from a reputable party. They would get a far better deal that way.

[jnrrt]

If you're mean then I'm part of the Spanish Inquisition. I have actually *gasp* rented points to my family for them to stay with us. Everyone expects to pay their own way, so they thought it was great to get such a wonderful place to stay for so much less than they would have spent. We thought it was great because we could rent to people we trusted. And we gave them a very nice "deal" because we had so few headaches with renting to them. I also did all the trip planning, and so ended up with lots of "thank you"s. Now, I realize that my family is not the norm - none of us have much of a sense of entitlement, and we get along really, really well, so that's a huge blessing to me.

But the point is that they know that if at all possible I will try to help them plan a trip, they know they get a great deal, but they don't think we're going to float them. We just aren't in that financial position, they know it, and there aren't any hard feelings.

I can see that it might be awkward, though, if you've done it in the past, and they might be thinking of it now as a "tradition". Do you have a good enough relationship to bring up to them your points situation, and say "We don't want you to feel excluded, we'd love to be there at the same time again, if you'd like to go I'd be happy to help you arrange a rental" or something? Or would that just bring too much attention to the fact that you're not inviting them?

Hope it goes well - family relationship are tricky and worth the trouble (in most cases!).

[cobbler]

I don't think your mean at all. After all it is your vacation, not theirs. If they want to join that is great but should realize they need to make their own arrangements.

[WDWSTAR]

You meanie ! NO just kidding ! You are a very sweet person for letting and putting up with family during all your trips. I too would love to have a zillion points to book all the rooms for my families, but we can only do what we can.. If the subject comes up tell your family you booke a room to only accomidate your family because you havent heard from anyone about going with you and you dont think you can change the room size because of availablity, but tell they how great it would be if they can get a resort not to far from you if not the same resort. :goodvibes

[dianeschlicht]

Not mean at all! It is one thing to invite family and friends at your choosing, but quite another if they invite themselves. I have invited lots of folks to go with us, and we always have a blast. There is one couple who has asked numerous times if they can go with some time. I have never asked them to. I guess I am a bit "mean" too, because I want the invitation to be MINE and not them inviting themselves.