Deep-Thots
06-22-2006, 02:53 AM
Okay, I thought I’d write a TR and post it, since we arranged for this trip via exchange of our DVC points for ressies at the Westin Ka’anapali Ocean Resort Villas in Maui.
Day 1: Prior to lift-off. Well, our flight to OGG (that’s Kalahui airport on Maui) via Salt Lake City on Delta was scheduled for 7AM. Since that would mean leaving for the airport at 5AM, Eric and I thought we’d just stay up all night and catch some shut-eye on the plane rides (11 hours of flying time from NJ; 13 hours including layover). In order to stay awake, we needed something to do. First, Eric and I watched the new Blue Collar Comedy Tour release on Comedy Central. Then, while Eric indulged in a little online poker, I decided to ramp up something I’d been saving on TiVo for quite a while: “Anna: The Mystery of Anastasia,” with Amy Irving and Rex Harrison, a four-hour flick. Well, let me tell you, they should have called it “Bananas: The Misery of Kim.” This movie totally sucked eggs… and yet I *had* to watch it, to find out what happened. I am very bitter that I will never get back those four hours of my life. I should have played poker instead.
Okay, the car arrives for the airport, knocking over our heavy trash can near the curb. The driver fixes said trash can, then helps load our stuff. We have packed an entire suitcase of books because we have high hopes of doing lots of nothing on the beach (and reading while doing nothing) for most of the trip. We arrive at the airport and try to check-in. Unfortunately, we are behind an entire family checking eight extra bags. Ugh. Finally, we check in then head off to clear security. Naturally, we choose the slowest line. People in the other line are just flying by, but we are stuck in the morass of congestion caused by inefficient workers and a faulty x-ray machine. It takes us half an hour to move 25 feet, after which I am in something of a huff. I inform Eric that I am not going to take off my sneakers (it is, after all, voluntary, and I don’t want to put my clean socks on skuzzy floors that everyone has walked on). We know that this is probably going to result in extra special screening, but, hey, I am extra special anyway. When the DHS woman tells me to take off my shoes, I say “No.” She looks at me as if I have miraculously grown significant additional cleavage in the last 10 seconds. “It’s voluntary, isn’t it?” “Well, stand over here for extra screening.’ “Okey doke.” I sit down while a very nice gentleman runs some swab around my sneakers (thereby giving them extra shine!) and then puts said swab into a machine. The readout indicates that I carry no explosives (obviously, the machine has never seen me in the midst of a case of food poisoning.), and I am free to go. I actually clear the line before Eric does. Sweet! See, I am extra special!
Next, we board the plane. Since we are in first class (yep, we splurged for such a long trip), we board first and are offered some pretty good food and free drinks on the flight to SLC. Personally, what I like best is the first class bathroom, which has an impressive wood floor. I feel extra-extra special – particularly since the toilet paper is two-ply.
Because I forgot the earphones for my ipod, we go down the terminal and pick up the same phones I have at home, then we saunter off to Cinnabon. Nummies!
We board a humongous 767 for the flight to Kahului and settle in. We attempt to watch the movie “Eight Below,” however, the entertainment system is uncooperative. It is so uncooperative, in fact, that the flight attendants have to restart the movie four separate times (after a 20 minute lead-in each time). We give up and snooze after we have eaten.
To be continued....
Day 1: Prior to lift-off. Well, our flight to OGG (that’s Kalahui airport on Maui) via Salt Lake City on Delta was scheduled for 7AM. Since that would mean leaving for the airport at 5AM, Eric and I thought we’d just stay up all night and catch some shut-eye on the plane rides (11 hours of flying time from NJ; 13 hours including layover). In order to stay awake, we needed something to do. First, Eric and I watched the new Blue Collar Comedy Tour release on Comedy Central. Then, while Eric indulged in a little online poker, I decided to ramp up something I’d been saving on TiVo for quite a while: “Anna: The Mystery of Anastasia,” with Amy Irving and Rex Harrison, a four-hour flick. Well, let me tell you, they should have called it “Bananas: The Misery of Kim.” This movie totally sucked eggs… and yet I *had* to watch it, to find out what happened. I am very bitter that I will never get back those four hours of my life. I should have played poker instead.
Okay, the car arrives for the airport, knocking over our heavy trash can near the curb. The driver fixes said trash can, then helps load our stuff. We have packed an entire suitcase of books because we have high hopes of doing lots of nothing on the beach (and reading while doing nothing) for most of the trip. We arrive at the airport and try to check-in. Unfortunately, we are behind an entire family checking eight extra bags. Ugh. Finally, we check in then head off to clear security. Naturally, we choose the slowest line. People in the other line are just flying by, but we are stuck in the morass of congestion caused by inefficient workers and a faulty x-ray machine. It takes us half an hour to move 25 feet, after which I am in something of a huff. I inform Eric that I am not going to take off my sneakers (it is, after all, voluntary, and I don’t want to put my clean socks on skuzzy floors that everyone has walked on). We know that this is probably going to result in extra special screening, but, hey, I am extra special anyway. When the DHS woman tells me to take off my shoes, I say “No.” She looks at me as if I have miraculously grown significant additional cleavage in the last 10 seconds. “It’s voluntary, isn’t it?” “Well, stand over here for extra screening.’ “Okey doke.” I sit down while a very nice gentleman runs some swab around my sneakers (thereby giving them extra shine!) and then puts said swab into a machine. The readout indicates that I carry no explosives (obviously, the machine has never seen me in the midst of a case of food poisoning.), and I am free to go. I actually clear the line before Eric does. Sweet! See, I am extra special!
Next, we board the plane. Since we are in first class (yep, we splurged for such a long trip), we board first and are offered some pretty good food and free drinks on the flight to SLC. Personally, what I like best is the first class bathroom, which has an impressive wood floor. I feel extra-extra special – particularly since the toilet paper is two-ply.
Because I forgot the earphones for my ipod, we go down the terminal and pick up the same phones I have at home, then we saunter off to Cinnabon. Nummies!
We board a humongous 767 for the flight to Kahului and settle in. We attempt to watch the movie “Eight Below,” however, the entertainment system is uncooperative. It is so uncooperative, in fact, that the flight attendants have to restart the movie four separate times (after a 20 minute lead-in each time). We give up and snooze after we have eaten.
To be continued....