Parents.......Control your kids !

[PBB]

We are currently at WDW (Memorial Day Week) and our first trip to the parks was to go to MK on Sunday Evening. I was just shocked at the amount of things that children were doing while Mommy and Daddy were standing within arms length.

I believe everyday is a learning possibility for children and WDW should include this. This is not an attack on children. Just the parental units, LOL.

We observed throughout the night kids standing on hand rails, walking in planter beds, throwing down empty plastic bottles and trash on the ground. I was surprised at the amount of trash on the ground. Nobody from WDW cleaning up either.

We ate at noodle station between Main Street and tommorowland (BTW, the food was good) I watched a child push a tray of food/trash off the table. This family sat there waiting on the attendant to come and pick up the trash off the ground. Of course, it appeared that the attendant was a senior citizen who had trouble leaning over that far and Daddy just stood there. Whatever happen to cleaning up ones messes.

At the end of the evening after Wishes fireworks we started down main street towards the buses. Wading through the sea of people including ECV's, double wide strollers, rented wheelchairs with families pushing each other we got to the end of the street near the park and saw the statue of Roy Disney and Mickey. This 11-12 years old boy was standing on the statue of Roy sitting on the bench with Mickey looking around. Daddy was standing next to him and said nothing. I looked for a Disney employee to say something and there was no one with the exception of the balloon salesperson.

Thanks for letting me vent! Hopefully today will be different!

[greenban]

We are currently at WDW (Memorial Day Week) and our first trip to the parks was to go to MK on Sunday Evening. I was just shocked at the amount of things that children were doing while Mommy and Daddy were standing within arms length.

I believe everyday is a learning possibility for children and WDW should include this. This is not an attack on children. Just the parental units, LOL.

We observed throughout the night kids standing on hand rails, walking in planter beds, throwing down empty plastic bottles and trash on the ground. I was surprised at the amount of trash on the ground. Nobody from WDW cleaning up either.

We ate at noodle station between Main Street and tommorowland (BTW, the food was good) I watched a child push a tray of food/trash off the table. This family sat there waiting on the attendant to come and pick up the trash off the ground. Of course, it appeared that the attendant was a senior citizen who had trouble leaning over that far and Daddy just stood there. Whatever happen to cleaning up ones messes.

At the end of the evening after Wishes fireworks we started down main street towards the buses. Wading through the sea of people including ECV's, double wide strollers, rented wheelchairs with families pushing each other we got to the end of the street near the park and saw the statue of Roy Disney and Mickey. This 11-12 years old boy was standing on the statue of Roy sitting on the bench with Mickey looking around. Daddy was standing next to him and said nothing. I looked for a Disney employee to say something and there was no one with the exception of the balloon salesperson.

Thanks for letting me vent! Hopefully today will be different!

All I can say is, this time, my family is not down at the world, phew!

It wasn't us!

-Tony

I have superglued the trays to the ground before watching senior citizen employees trying to pick them up, while it may be wrong, it is such fun! :toiletcla

[Mary]

Let's hope that you just were near the worst. I think most parents try to instill basic values and manners in their children--a nerver-ending exhausting job! I do remember that my niece and her husband put off having children for an extra year or so after staying at All Stars. Mary

[newjerseynick]

My favorite bad parenting moment at a Disney park is from Disneyland this past February.
While sitting on the DL railroad, waiting for pasengers at the Toontown Station, we watched a little girl lick the railing from one end to the other, while dad was on his cel, oblivious to his child ingesting every germ known to man.:yuck:
The conductor was even amazed, and I'm sure he's seen plenty.
As we were pulling out we saw her start on the next railing down.:sosad:

Nick

[pollymn]

My favorite bad parenting moment at a Disney park is from Disneyland this past February.
While sitting on the DL railroad, waiting for pasengers at the Toontown Station, we watched a little girl lick the railing from one end to the other, while dad was on his cel, oblivious to his child ingesting every germ known to man.:yuck:
The conductor was even amazed, and I'm sure he's seen plenty.
As we were pulling out we saw her start on the next railing down.:sosad:

Nick

This would probably be the father that wanted compensation from Disney
for his daughter's "food poisining" later in the trip.:crazy:

[TrvlPrincess]

Terrybly to see that. I guess that is one of the reasons i like to go in January (less people) Sad to see that Disney did not have cast members to clean or to set the unruly straight!

[newjerseynick]

Originally posted by pollymnThis would probably be the father that wanted compensation from Disney
for his daughter's "food poisining" later in the trip.
:iagree:
Sad but true, Polly.

Nick

[Blue&Gold]

While sitting on the DL railroad, waiting for pasengers at the Toontown Station, we watched a little girl lick the railing from one end to the other, while dad was on his cel, oblivious to his child ingesting every germ known to man.:yuck:

The theory of natural selection applies even to the "higher order primates."

[diva452]

We had a bad parenting situation before we even left LAX! We were waiting to board and there was a woman with two monsters, er boys. One was about 3 and the other about 6. The older one was rolling his carryon over the younger ones head as he layed on the floor at the gate. She was yelling and smacking them the entire time we waiting for the plane, about a half hour. We finally boarded and they were 2 rows behind me. Those boys were yelling, hitting each other, crying, screaming at each other and their mother and the mother was hitting and screaming back to them. It was so bad that at one point there were 7 crew members standing around their seats trying to get the situation under control. EVERYONE on that plane wanted them kicked off and the pilot came over and told the boys that this is HIS plane and that if they didnt behave he would kick them off. The behaved enough to get the flight going, which was delayed about a half hour just because of them. They continued to be somewhat bad the entire flight but it was more tolerable.

This was like a scene right out of supernanny. It was obvious to everyone that it was the mother who was at fault. Kids can be bad, mine included but this was bad parenting at its core. I could not believe it.

Thank goodness my 3 yr old was an angel thanks to multiple electonic devices and some crayons and paper.

[BWV Dreamin]

:hahahaha:The bad parenting event on our WDW trip carried over into the airport the morning of departure. The child was making any kind of noise possible the whole time in the hotel check out, waiting area in airport, and into the plane. Finally an older lady said "I've had it!! I took it all in the waiting area, now your not gonna do this the whole plane ride!" She yelled at the kid while the parent sat there!:sosad::sosad:Anway, the kid started up, the lady yelled at him, and the dad finally said to the kid,"Ok, now we need to keep it down".:hahahaha:

[diva452]

Unbelievable!!!

As a parent of international adoption we were required to attend parenting classes and also agree never to use corporal punishment.

I think that maybe this rule should be passed along to some bio-birthparents as well....parenting classes for the pregnant......a service to the whole community!!!!!

[carolina_yankee]

My favorite bad parenting moment at a Disney park is from Disneyland this past February.
While sitting on the DL railroad, waiting for pasengers at the Toontown Station, we watched a little girl lick the railing from one end to the other, while dad was on his cel, oblivious to his child ingesting every germ known to man.:yuck:
The conductor was even amazed, and I'm sure he's seen plenty.
As we were pulling out we saw her start on the next railing down.:sosad:

Nick

So, is Disney paint flavored? Perhaps a new item from Goofy's Candy Company? Otherwise, I can't imagine a railing being that tasty, even to a child, beyond a sampling or two!!

Yikes!!

Dirk

[NYDVC]

I have superglued the trays to the ground before watching senior citizen employees trying to pick them up, while it may be wrong, it is such fun! :toiletcla

thats just wrong..... very funny .....but wrong

[PBB]

We just got back from EPCOT and we had a much better morning than we did last night at MK. No parenting issues so far, however, the day is still young.

My wife has resorted to calling me grumpy and keeps pointing out grumpy shirts for some reason and saying you should get that. She also stated that our children are far from perfect (that comes from her side of the family) however, I reminded her that we did not let our kids get that far out of hand like last night.

One thing that DVC has done is taken the pressure off us to have to see every ride at the park before we leave. We know we will be back in time so it is not the end of the world if we don't see Dumbo or not. So nap time is important. There sure were alot of youngsters crying at 10 pm. Poor guys.

I will keep an eye open for hand rail licking at DHS this evening. Yuk.....

I know another thing I don't like at WDW since the last time I was here. I feel like I am the only without a ECV being used by a family member. There seems to be alot of capable looking people using them for no apparent reason. Being a person who has had 3 back surgeries since March 07 I guess I would look like a capable person who has a need if I rented one. So I know I can't be judgmental.

I do know one thing though. We sure do have an obesity problem in the US. Just looking at the crowds last night and today and it is very noticeable. We have to stop the process foods and colas. My DW and I were talking about how they use to sell juice in the park with the plastic fruit containers as a bottle. The little oranges, apples and grape container and they had them in ice to keep them cold. Ahh, the good old days.

BTW, I agree with the poster who wrote we need parenting classes.........good idea.

[CRSNDSNY]

My favorite bad parenting moment at a Disney park is from Disneyland this past February.
While sitting on the DL railroad, waiting for pasengers at the Toontown Station, we watched a little girl lick the railing from one end to the other, while dad was on his cel, oblivious to his child ingesting every germ known to man.:yuck:
The conductor was even amazed, and I'm sure he's seen plenty.
As we were pulling out we saw her start on the next railing down.:sosad:

Nick
OMG
I just threw up in my mouth. :scary:

[newjerseynick]

Originally posted by CRSNDSNY:

OMG
I just threw up in my mouth.

Sorry!

Nick

[JimP]

Thank goodness my 3 yr old was an angel thanks to multiple electonic devices and some crayons and paper.

OK... I have seen "A Clockwork Orange"... so I know what the multiple electronic devices do. What were the crayons and paper for? :)

/Jim

[diva452]

OK... I have seen "A Clockwork Orange"... so I know what the multiple electronic devices do. What were the crayons and paper for? :)

/Jim

Let me rephrase.....:jumpingbe

Ipod with cartoons, PSP, Leapfrog handheld, laptop! The crayons and paper were for mommy!

[JimP]

Let me rephrase.....:jumpingbe

Ipod with cartoons, PSP, Leapfrog handheld, laptop! The crayons and paper were for mommy!

I was wondering when someone would comment :)

/Jim

[diva452]

Jim,

I just checked out your family website. Where in Mass do you live? I was born and raised in Mass.

Melissa

[JimP]

Jim,

I just checked out your family website. Where in Mass do you live? I was born and raised in Mass.

Melissa

I've lived in Portland Oregon for the past 14 years. Debbie and I were born in the Springfiled MA area. DD1 was born in Northampton (we were UMass students at the time). DD2 and DS were born in Leominster MA.

/Jim

[diva452]

I was born in Boston and grew up in Fitchburg. I've been in SoCal since 1994.

[JimP]

I was born in Boston and grew up in Fitchburg. I've been in SoCal since 1994.
We moved west from your twin city (Leominster) in 1994 too. I wonder if we were on the same flight LOL

/Jim

[TW1]

My favorite bad parenting moment ... we watched a little girl lick the railing from one end to the other,

Nick, somethings really don't need to be shared.

[greenban]

Here is a photo of said child.....

http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/73/25/22992573.jpg


Here is an artist's representation of said child's dad...

http://journeyhomeburke.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/24819bpthe-simpsons-homer-d-oh-posters.jpg


And here is the child's loving Mom.....

http://www.morethings.com/log/pictures/mj_dangles_baby.jpg



Here is the older sister training friends and cousins in the techniques of rail licking. She is to the right.....

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42689000/jpg/_42689237_kids416.jpg


-Tony

[TW1]

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42689000/jpg/_42689237_kids416.jpg

How come I think the one in the striped hat is relieving himself on his neighbor's car?

Maybe this is one for the "Best Balcony View" thread.

[disneyfreak89]

we watched a little girl lick the railing from one end to the other

Greenban you crack me up! :hahahaha:

Makes me think twice about leaning up against any railings now! :yuck:

[BWV Dreamin]

Greeban....:lmbo::lmbo: And I thought you had no sense of humor! Boy was I wrong!:sunny:

[Laxmom]

Or touching them!!!!!

I will never forget a recent experience. We were at a restaurant with both boys - ages 24 and 17. There was a kid running around the tables disrupting everyone's dinner. My oldest looked at us and said, "Thanks." I thought he was being sarcastic and asked for more info. He then added, "Thanks for setting limits and never allowing us to behave like that."

The heavens parted and the angels sang at that moment. It was one that a parent never expects to hear. If only people would realize what an injustice they are doing to their kids let alone others!!

[TinkLover]

I agree, for some reason it seems that once the parents get there, someone takes their brain and the kids can do whatever they want. My kids are over 18 and I still correct them when I feel they need it, maybe I shouldn't say that outloud.... lol....

[greenban]

Greeban.... And I thought you had no sense of humor! Boy was I wrong!:sunny:

OUCH!!!

No sense of humor?:confused: I got banned :toiletcla for my sense of humor!

:lmbo: Why, I'm the :crazy: funniest :headbange person that I know! :drool:

Here is a link to my non-existant sense of humor===>http://www.mouseowners.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1028&highlight=paper+towel+animals

NOTE: It is slow until post 15, but like many things good, you need to wait for the 'payoff'.

-Tony

True I have :drillserg toned it down, but it is still there.........

P.S. I never said that it was good humor! :mickeybar

Heck, here is a poll I commissioned myself on my senseof humor, and 5 of 6 MOs expressing a preference chose funny! ;) http://www.mouseowners.com/forums/showthread.php?t=11386&highlight=frog+funny

[mountainjourno]

I remember being on a bus once, and a child kept running up and down the bus, shrieking. The father just sat in his seat and did nothing.

Finally, someone tapped on the father's shoulder and asked him to control his child. The father had tears well up in his eyes, and said something like, "I'm so sorry - we're on the way back from the hospital where his mother just died. I guess I'm not handling it well and nor is my son."

Between that experience, and then my friends with kids who have autistic fits, and then my own terrible parent Disney/airplane experience, immortalized here: http://www.parentscanada.com/relating/articles.aspx?listingid=165 I try not to judge other parents. Just the other day, my children were being inducted into "Beavers" and I missed the ceremony because I was talking on my Blackberry. Many other parents looked at me in disgust. What they didn't know, was I had just discovered my Mastercard was stolen, and the person was busily spending big on it - I was frantically talking to the fraud section of the card company. I hated missing my kids' big moment, and feel terrible about how all the other parents regarded me at that time.

I don't doubt for a moment there are negligent parents out there - and the worst seems to come out on holidays for many - I just don't know what their particular circumstances are, so unless they are hurting their children, I try to ignore it.

Anyway - just my two cents...

[Laxmom]

I think time and place becomes critical. In the instance I mentioned, the parents were laughing and talking, totally oblivious that their child was imposing on everyone else's dining experience in a relatively quiet restaurant. I've been on the airport shuttle with kids heading on vacation that were so excited that they couldn't sit still. Again, time and place.

We were on a plane last year on our way to our DCL anniversary trip. We sat in front of a couple with a young baby. The baby screamed from take off to landing. His parents, being new, didn't bring extra bottles to help with the pressure change. They fed him before they left so he would sleep. How could you be angry at the baby? He was in some serious discomfort. The attendent tried to get them to fill a bottle with juice or water and they refused. She even explained and asked if they had a pacifier. They said no. She wanted to walk the isles with him but the attendant said she couldn't; turbulence. You have to just shake your head at that point because it is just not knowing that caused the problem.

There's an explanation to some of the incidents and some there isn't. I've worked in the store where parents let their kids run wild and break things while they shop. I have worked in the Dr's office where kids run up and down the hall way while people are doing therapy. Time and place.

[mountainjourno]

There's an explanation to some of the incidents and some there isn't. I've worked in the store where parents let their kids run wild and break things while they shop. I have worked in the Dr's office where kids run up and down the hall way while people are doing therapy. Time and place.

Time and place doesn't always apply. Some kids with special needs *look* normal and so other parents shake their heads in disgust thinking it's just a kid having a tantrum with negligent parents. And those kids need to go to all the places that well behaved children go.

And then yes - there are parents who need to get off their butts and do more to guide their children's behaviour. No question about it.

My point is that we don't always know which case it is, or why the parents are not stepping in. I remember my distress each time I had to go to the doctor's office with my children when they were a baby and a toddler (only a year apart in age), and I didn't know anyone in the country (so - no babysitters) and couldn't speak the language very well. I was super depressed because I felt so isolated, overwhelmed because one of my children had colic and the other was super-energetic (but too young to speak), and sometimes I was so exhausted that I didn't know what to do. BUT - I still needed to go to the doctor when I was sick, or one of the children was sick or needed a check up. So yeah - when I went shopping or to the doctor, there was every chance I was one of those parents with a wild child. Most of the time, I just wanted to cry or curl up and die somewhere. But I had countless people helpfully berate me in a variety of languages...

Now, I'm one of those lucky moms with *normal* kids, in an English-speaking country, where I have plenty of friends available to babysit when needed. I'm out of my post partum funk, and well able to discipline my children effectively. In fact, until last month, I worked for Children's Services, and I still write for parenting magazines each month. But if you read the article I posted, I still have moments where everyone would think I suck as a parent. So when I see kids running wild at innappropriate times and places, if things are getting dangerous, I'll step in to help in a nice, non-threatening way. And if it's just annoying, I'll ignore it, and be thankful it's not one of my kids.

[Ransom]

Let's say it's a given that there are always going to be special circumstances and special needs.

So, the question becomes:

Do parents have a duty to do their utmost to prevent their children from disrupting the lives of others?

[Laxmom]

I had that active child and the baby with colic also. Very challenging and exhausting. And I understand the challenges involved but I also feel that most reasonable people will observe the situation before jumping to conclusions. And I emphasize MOST! There are acceptions and extremes to every thing on both sides. I think everyone, including children, need to realize that there are consequences to their actions. Legal and otherwise. Some serious and some trivial. It is just a fact of life and if we don't teach our children this fact, we do them a disservice as parents. Sometimes those messages are harder to get across and the lessons harder to learn. Some adults never get it and some get it too late.

[mountainjourno]

Let's say it's a given that there are always going to be special circumstances and special needs.

So, the question becomes:

Do parents have a duty to do their utmost to prevent their children from disrupting the lives of others?

Within reason - yes. But it's kind of a gray area. I remember (from the news) a woman in Australia being asked to leave a bus with her screaming baby because it was disrupting other passengers - and when she tried to breasfeed it earlier in the journey (to prevent the meltdown) was told to stop as it was offensive to other passengers. Thankfully, that debate is now closed (at least in Oz) and breastfeeding moms can do so whenever and wherever is necessary.

Equally, a mom on Mouseowners recently posted her plight of being asked (not so nicely) to raise her son's seat on an aircraft that she had pushed back for him to sleep - which then resulted in her child being very overtired and cranky, and certainly more disruptive.

As a parent, I do my best to keep my kids in line, but sometimes I'm that parent everyone despises (especially when the kids are overtired - which happens, especially when you're travelling as far as we do).

So yes - within reason, parents should prevent their kids from disrupting others. And adults should do their best to be helpful and understanding or learn to walk away when they are being disrupted. If a child were screaming past my table in a restaurant, and the parent were ignoring the child, I would gently take the child by the arm back to his or her parents and tell them - in a friendly manner - that their child must have escaped when they weren't looking. They usually get the hint.

[greenban]

Let's say it's a given that there are always going to be special circumstances and special needs.

So, the question becomes:

Do parents have a duty to do their utmost to prevent their children from disrupting the lives of others?

No they don't.

I think it is analogous to pornography, "I can't define it but I know it when I see it."

What I am actually trying to say is that I believe Parents have a duty to reasonably prevent thier children from unreasonably disrupting the lives of others.

examples:

I have a bad back, the child kicking my seatback the entire ride after I have asked the parents and/or child (if old enough) to stop, need to do something about it.

The baby screaming next to me because of ear pain, that the parents have done everything for (feeding, cooing, cuddling, pacifier, feeding, walking in the aisle, etc. Have done all that can be expected of them. When the child finally turns his head and vomits on me from all the air they swallowed from crying, it would be nice if the parents helped clean up and offered to pay for dry cleaning, but they don't have too.

A child having a fit/tantrum, and running up and down the aisles, preventing stewards/esses from serving, attending to their duties, needs to be forceably restrained. Not abused, not man handled, not yelled at, but held still by parents or others if necessary.

A special needs child suffering from touretts, or even Down's may not be able to fully control their mouth, sit silently, or even control their bowels. I understand that and try t support the parents. Let's face it, georgous infants filling their diapers with #2 still smell (stink), but that (making poop) is part of life, parents can't insert a cork before take off (Hmmm, perhaps they could?). And I certainly hate when babies are changed in the :blech:aisles :blech:instead of the bathrooms.

Okay I have rambled enough.

Everything in moderation, reasonable expectations, and reasonable duty (not the poopy kind)

-Tony (now known as no-sense-of-humor, Tony)

[bigbahamadada]

Time and place doesn't always apply. Some kids with special needs *look* normal and so other parents shake their heads in disgust thinking it's just a kid having a tantrum with negligent parents.


Too true. It's comparatively easy to be a good parent of easily controlled, agreeable child. Its the parents of the challenging children that have the hardest job and may, in fact, be the most skilled parents. I have two very easy kids. DB has one easy and one challenged -- colic as infant, hyperactive as toddler. All sorts of issues. And DB is a pediatrician with nearly unlimited resources to bring to bear -- and it's still a challenge. I, being the competitive little brother, always smuggly chuckled at my comparative parental ease until I tried keeping nephew for a week while DB was out of the country. Absolutely, mind-bendingly, exhausting. Not sure how they do it. I certainly couldn't keep up with the demands.

(And to DB's credit, they actually have a prohibition on all Disney talk at their house, as they don't want to do a trip until they think their child is ready to do so in a well behaved manner).

Judge all you want -- lord knows I do -- some of the rather bizarre parental behavior you see at WDW. But remember that there are challenging kids out there, and WDW is a challenging environment, even for a calm and level-headed child. And realize that the seemingly inept parent may have more parental duty than you could ever comprehend. And count your blessings if you have a child that is naturally inclined towards "civil" behavior.

[Laxmom]

I think Greenban is the voice of reason. I agree with his well made point.

With our DS, I knew there were places that he could not handle being in without issues so we avoided those areas until he could. It would have been too difficult for all of us not to mention the other people present.

[BWV Dreamin]

OUCH!!!

No sense of humor?:confused: I got banned :toiletcla for my sense of humor!

:lmbo: Why, I'm the :crazy: funniest :headbange person that I know!

Here is a link to my non-existant sense of humor===>http://www.mouseowners.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1028&highlight=paper+towel+animals

NOTE: It is slow until post 15, but like many things good, you need to wait for the 'payoff'.

-Tony

True I have :drillserg toned it down, but it is still there.........

P.S. I never said that it was good humor! :mickeybar

Heck, here is a poll I commissioned myself on my senseof humor, and 5 of 6 MOs expressing a preference chose funny! ;) http://www.mouseowners.com/forums/showthread.php?t=11386&highlight=frog+funny

:ROTFL: I can't stop crying...(laughing) and I'm only on page #15!:lmbo:

[greenban]

...I think Greenban is the voice of reason. I agree with his well made point. ...

With our DS, I knew there were places that he could not handle being in without issues so we avoided those areas until he could. It would have been too difficult for all of us not to mention the other people present.

No one who knows me, whould ever have expected to read those two highlighted sentances. Heck, I don't believe it myself. But many thanks for the kind words, what is your PayPal address again?

-Tony

[Laxmom]

I almost added - yes I said that!! but thought, no I will give a real compliment. Should I go back and edit?!!

What I mean is... Common sense on both sides of the equasion goes a long way. For those with children and for those who observe parenting challenges.

[mkhurley]

I read thru all these comments and posts and all I can think is.....my poor wife....she has to deal with this all the time.......occasionally she gets me under control though. :scary:

[JimP]

Tony can also write you a script for some baby valium.

/Jim

[robruth]

As a parent who came home from work last night to find out that the kids had earlier that day invented a new game called "Exploding Pop Can" (The kids name for the game not ours.), I understand that sometimes the inmates will escape from and perhaps even run the asylum. It's when the warden fails to recognize that the inmates are gaining the upper hand that you begin to wonder.

[cheapmom]

Parents.......Control your kids !
But I'm on vacation.

[cheapmom]

Seriously though- I really haven't seen that much bad behavior at WDW, I have on occasion seen a few instances where I had to go 'hmmmmm'... but few and far between at WDW. I am not very judgemental I have 3 kids with adhd- 1 of them (my youngest- bless his heart) is also Dx'd with OCD, Tourette Syndrome, and an Autistic Spectrum Disorder- I am sure they have done things when my head was turned in the other other direction that both shocked and dismayed unfortunate onlookers. Now if I catch them doing something wrong of course I correct them.

Like the kid licking the railing- that is the kind of goofy stuff my kids would do- I would look at map for 10 seconds and when I am done- I look up and one kid is licking something weird and the other 2 are picking up cigarette butts off the ground. Good Grief!

[JimP]

What about parents (mothers) wearing tank tops equiped with LED blinking breasts?

/Jim

[mkhurley]

What about parents (mothers) wearing tank tops equiped with LED blinking breasts?

/Jim

http://mysite.verizon.net/vzeo1xmz/worthless.gif

[greenban]

http://mysite.verizon.net/vzeo1xmz/worthless.gif


Here ya go:

http://www.enlighted.com/media/bras/camisoles/blackreddarkx100.jpghttp://www.enlighted.com/media/bras/brasjun03/bluedarkx100.jpg http://www.enlighted.com/media/bras/featherbra/pinklightx100.jpg

Higher end units:
http://www.enlighted.com/media/cedros04/donotx200.jpg


-Tony

[mkhurley]

Here ya go:

http://www.enlighted.com/media/bras/camisoles/blackreddarkx100.jpghttp://www.enlighted.com/media/bras/brasjun03/bluedarkx100.jpg http://www.enlighted.com/media/bras/featherbra/pinklightx100.jpg


-Tony

LOL.....thanks I musta missed those when we were at WDW.....must be from a store on PI.....

[JimP]

Here ya go:

Thanks Tony... you saved my butt. I owe you one!

/Jim

[greenban]

Thanks Tony... you saved my butt. I owe you one!

/Jim

No worries MOD5, I've got your back!

-Tony

[newjerseynick]

Greenban, I'm not sure how you hacked my Kodak photo gallery account, but you are the man!
Now I have to read the rest of these posts.
Nick

[newjerseynick]

Greenban, all I can do is :worship:
NJN

[mountainjourno]

I dunno - clearly this mom (http://groups.msn.com/TheBackyardigans/sillydisneyphoto.msnw?action=ShowPhoto&PhotoID=226)is the reason for her daughter going astray - it's the choice of Disneyana clothing I suspect...

(Note: you may not want to click on the link...these lovely Mickey Mouse shirts may be offensive to some...)

http://groups.msn.com/TheBackyardigans/sillydisneyphoto.msnw?action=ShowPhoto&PhotoID=226

[newjerseynick]

mountainjourno, thank you for my new desktop!
NJN

[JimP]

I dunno - clearly this mom is the reason for her daughter going astray - it's the choice of Disneyana clothing I suspect...

Do they blink?

/Jim

[mountainjourno]

Do they blink?

/Jim

No...but they can wiggle their noses!

[Daitcher]

I do know one thing though. We sure do have an obesity problem in the US. Just looking at the crowds last night and today and it is very noticeable.



Yes we are an obese country but for some reason I find it more of a WDW thing. Come where I live and you'd be lucky to find anyone overweight in this town of 25,000.



DAVE

[cheapmom]

OK... I have seen "A Clockwork Orange"... so I know what the multiple electronic devices do. What were the crayons and paper for? :)

/Jim
OMG that is funny

[bababear]

I'm so happy I'm in vacation mode at Disney and not work mode,,,,,,,
I actually love watching all the little munchkins act out and parents having to deal with them. :D

21 school days left till summer break:goob:


Hugs Mel

[nono]

You know the other end of this though is the scornful looks I receive in WDW for actually controlling my kids.

"I don't know about those of you who are giving me dirty looks right now, but I didn't come to Disney World to listen to this kind of noise, and I can't imagine you did either" has become my blanket loud statement after correcting one of my two "angels" in public.

Often after saying it, I'll see one or two of these: :idea:

[glypnirsgirl]

You know the other end of this though is the scornful looks I receive in WDW for actually controlling my kids.

"I don't know about those of you who are giving me dirty looks right now, but I didn't come to Disney World to listen to this kind of noise, and I can't imagine you did either" has become my blanket loud statement after correcting one of my two "angels" in public.

Often after saying it, I'll see one or two of these: :idea:

I can remember being at Disneyland as a kid when my brother started misbehaving. My mother, who had a zero tolerance for bad behavior policy, was soundly spanking him. A "helpful" woman came up to her and suggested that she should not be spanking my brother at Disneyland. My mother told her that she did not care where her children were misbehaving they could be sure of being corrected.

I am one of those people that will go to children that are not being corrected and ask them to please behave so that I can have fun too. Usually they will become suddenly shy (and mercifully quiet) and run to their parents.

I really respect parents who parent their children. I recognize that children can not really be MADE to mind. They just have to be given choices that make it more likely that they will CHOOSE to mind.

Elaine

[Carolina]

I don't think kids behaving badly at WDW is any worse than kids behaving badly anywhere else. It's every where.

My dd3 is one of those kids who is very active and can not/will not sit still for long periods of time. When we are at restaurants, she wants to get down and run around the tables (she is getting better about this). That's when dh and I take turns taking her outside, so she doesn't disturb others. When she was 1 1/2, we were at Flying Fish and she kept wanting to get down and go around the table. Thankfully the restaurant was not busy, but I did my duty and took her outside, came back in to try again. It was the fastest we've ever been served at any WDW restaurant.

[JimP]

All of these problems would be solved if WDW simply put an age limit of 21 to enter any of the 49 sq miles the property. Then... WDW would be...

... oh wait... I guess it would be like Las Vegas. Nevermind.

/Jim

[glypnirsgirl]

I love having children at WDW. I love watching their eyes fill with wonder. O love their innocence. I am glad that they are there. I am also glad that my child and bonus children are all grown. I think little kids are just so much work.

Elaine

[Kynna]

My kids are no where near perfect but I always make it clear to them when their behavior is not acceptable.......when I catch them. My little one used to be a licker and it freaked me out!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm a firm believer that it "takes a village". If I see a child doing something that clearly crosses a line I don't think twice about asking them politely not to do it. Usually the parents just didn't notice or still hadn't made the call on whether it was a battle they were going to pick.

I'm usually grateful when someone takes the time to ask my kids not to do something, as long as they are good natured about it.


The worst thing is parents clearly know what their children are doing and could care less or thing it's funny. I just have to keep telling myself "what comes around goes around". Just wait until those little brats are teenagers!!!

[Daitcher]

My dd3 is one of those kids who is very active and can not/will not sit still for long periods of time. When we are at restaurants, she wants to get down and run around the tables (she is getting better about this). That's when dh and I take turns taking her outside, so she doesn't disturb others. When she was 1 1/2, we were at Flying Fish and she kept wanting to get down and go around the table. Thankfully the restaurant was not busy, but I did my duty and took her outside, came back in to try again. It was the fastest we've ever been served at any WDW restaurant.



This sounds familiar. We did the same thing with our son, we would take shifts taking him outside to run. To this day I'm not sure if this was the correct way to deal with it. A BIG part of me wanted to keep him at the table and "demand" some table manners. That was me, my wife was of the mindset that little kids cannot sit for long periods during dinner and it wasn't fair to ask him that at a young age. Well, she won and we took him outside in shifts. He's six and a half now and we no longer do this so it does get better.

This brings to mind my rants about the lack of services at DVC. Because of the above we rarely ate out with our son on vacation. It wasn't what I'd call relaxing dining out that way so we would routinely order room service, order To Go food or cook in. Once or twice per trip we would eat sit down restaurant meals. My rants come from this. All of the DVC Resorts should have room service and they do not. What would it cost to make a family like ours happy; a delivery guy?????? Then with the DDP To Go orders have been virtually eliminated. Can't get it at Olivias anymore or at ESPN, etc.

When you have an active kid you just want things easy and WDW ALWAYS seems like work. I'm on vacation I shouldn't have to lift a finger. Make it easy for me please...........


DAVE

DAVE

[wombat94]

My kids are no where near perfect but I always make it clear to them when their behavior is not acceptable.......when I catch them. My little one used to be a licker and it freaked me out!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm a firm believer that it "takes a village". If I see a child doing something that clearly crosses a line I don't think twice about asking them politely not to do it. Usually the parents just didn't notice or still hadn't made the call on whether it was a battle they were going to pick.


This is the problem I have with the "it takes a village" attitude.

If the parents haven't decided if it was a battle they were going to pick, then by pointing something out, you've just MADE it a battle they have to fight.

Depending on what we are talking about, that might be okay, but the "village" needs to be along the lines of an actual village - where everyone knows one another and already has an understanding of the kinds of "battles" that people will pick with one another. If you know the other person, then I agree in pointing things out that they wouldn't want their children to do. If it is a total stranger, then you're stepping across a line to correct a child whose parent is right there.

Ted

[mountainjourno]

This is the problem I have with the "it takes a village" attitude.

If the parents haven't decided if it was a battle they were going to pick, then by pointing something out, you've just MADE it a battle they have to fight.

Depending on what we are talking about, that might be okay, but the "village" needs to be along the lines of an actual village - where everyone knows one another and already has an understanding of the kinds of "battles" that people will pick with one another. If you know the other person, then I agree in pointing things out that they wouldn't want their children to do. If it is a total stranger, then you're stepping across a line to correct a child whose parent is right there.

Ted


I agree with you - with the exceptions of when:
1) The child is in danger; or
2) Doing something that is personally affecting me or my family, for example, hitting, kicking our seats, eating our French Fries (this actually happened once!)

In those cases, there is no question I will gently step in and alert the parent.

[Daitcher]

This is the problem I have with the "it takes a village" attitude.

If the parents haven't decided if it was a battle they were going to pick, then by pointing something out, you've just MADE it a battle they have to fight.

Depending on what we are talking about, that might be okay, but the "village" needs to be along the lines of an actual village - where everyone knows one another and already has an understanding of the kinds of "battles" that people will pick with one another. If you know the other person, then I agree in pointing things out that they wouldn't want their children to do. If it is a total stranger, then you're stepping across a line to correct a child whose parent is right there.

Ted



Ted,

I couldn't agree more. I wouldn't take kindly to a stranger telling me ANYTHING regarding my child or how I handle him. It is none of their business and anyone thinking it is their business would be promptly "corrected".

You don't do that. It is plain wrong and shows a lack of respect. Move away if you can, ignore it, be glad it isn't you but do not get involved.


DAVE

[wombat94]

I agree with you - with the exceptions of when:
1) The child is in danger; or
2) Doing something that is personally affecting me or my family, for example, hitting, kicking our seats, eating our French Fries (this actually happened once!)

In those cases, there is no question I will gently step in and alert the parent.

Agree 100%. Especially with point 1.

Point 2 I agree with as long as "the child is being loud and annoying" - especially in a place like Disney - isn't in the category of "personally affecting me or my family".

In a way, it is like what we have told our older daughter regarding tattling on her little sister: unless the little one is doing something illegal or potentially dangerous, it isn't the older one's place to tell us what the little one did.

[mountainjourno]

Agree 100%. Especially with point 1.

Point 2 I agree with as long as "the child is being loud and annoying" - especially in a place like Disney - isn't in the category of "personally affecting me or my family".

In a way, it is like what we have told our older daughter regarding tattling on her little sister: unless the little one is doing something illegal or potentially dangerous, it isn't the older one's place to tell us what the little one did.

Yup :iagree: Totally agree with everything you wrote. (Particularly you agreeing with me ;) )

[JimP]

I agree with you - with the exceptions of when:
1) The child is in danger; or
2) Doing something that is personally affecting me or my family, for example, hitting, kicking our seats, eating our French Fries (this actually happened once!)

In those cases, there is no question I will gently step in and alert the parent.

I think children should be commended for caring about... and taking positive steps to improve our health. This young child will certainly become a physician some day.

/Jim

[mountainjourno]

Originally Posted by mountainjourno
I agree with you - with the exceptions of when:
1) The child is in danger; or
2) Doing something that is personally affecting me or my family, for example, hitting, kicking our seats, eating our French Fries (this actually happened once!)
In those cases, there is no question I will gently step in and alert the parent.

I think children should be commended for caring about... and taking positive steps to improve our health. This young child will certainly become a physician some day.

/Jim


Hmmm...is this how you started out, Greenban? (or was it French Flies? :goob: )

[shamrock6]

Ted,

I couldn't agree more. I wouldn't take kindly to a stranger telling me ANYTHING regarding my child or how I handle him. It is none of their business and anyone thinking it is their business would be promptly "corrected".

You don't do that. It is plain wrong and shows a lack of respect. Move away if you can, ignore it, be glad it isn't you but do not get involved.


DAVE

I think your expectations change for each family . What you think as a parent is acceptable may not be for next family. You have to deal with it. It's WDW. They are kids. Kids do random things. :bouncingg:bouncingg:bouncingg

[greenban]

Hmmm...is this how you started out, Greenban? (or was it French Flies? :goob: )


Oui! Ze Fench Flies, eating zhem to protect zee others, it is moi duty, no?

Zhat and zee love of all zee things pantomine!!!

Au Revoir,

-Tony

[NYDVC]

Ted,

I couldn't agree more. I wouldn't take kindly to a stranger telling me ANYTHING regarding my child or how I handle him. It is none of their business and anyone thinking it is their business would be promptly "corrected".

You don't do that. It is plain wrong and shows a lack of respect. Move away if you can, ignore it, be glad it isn't you but do not get involved.


DAVE

I got blasted once for commenting that a three year old should leran some manners. He was standing in his mothers shopping car screaming at the line ahead of him (I was in line right behind) to hurry up!! It continued for awhile......no one did anything.....I turned my head and made a comment. Boy did mom respond then :rant: How could I p[ossible expect a three year old to behave any other way.....yada yada yada. I moved on, lost cause in my opinion. I like kids and dont mind noise, etc. but he was loud belowing actually. I think the parents may of felt it was cute or funny. like when they teach youg kids to curse and ask them to say it in public. :thumbsup:thats one of my favorites!!!!:hurl:

[Daitcher]

I got blasted once for commenting that a three year old should leran some manners. He was standing in his mothers shopping car screaming at the line ahead of him (I was in line right behind) to hurry up!! It continued for awhile......no one did anything.....I turned my head and made a comment. Boy did mom respond then :rant: How could I p[ossible expect a three year old to behave any other way.....yada yada yada. I moved on, lost cause in my opinion. I like kids and dont mind noise, etc. but he was loud belowing actually. I think the parents may of felt it was cute or funny. like when they teach youg kids to curse and ask them to say it in public. :thumbsup:thats one of my favorites!!!!:hurl:



Again, you deserved to be blasted, IMO. What gives any of us the right to tell another child how to behave? Unless we are their teacher or caregiver then we should mind our own business. Telling another persons child how to act or correcting a parent is every bit as rude as the initial behavior promting this response.

We teach or son how to act in public and we respect others. We do our part. We've accepted that not everyone does. All we can do is worry about our son. If each of us does this then things will be better. Undermining a parent or correcting someone elses child is not helping.


DAVE

[greenban]

Again, you deserved to be blasted, IMO. What gives any of us the right to tell another child how to behave? Unless we are their teacher or caregiver then we should mind our own business. Telling another persons child how to act or correcting a parent is every bit as rude as the initial behavior promting this response.

We teach or son how to act in public and we respect others. We do our part. We've accepted that not everyone does. All we can do is worry about our son. If each of us does this then things will be better. Undermining a parent or correcting someone elses child is not helping.


DAVE

Dave, for once I disagree with you ;)

Blasted was too much. "Please mind your own business", "Thanks, but I'll raise my children you raise yours," would have been sufficent. But to blast the OP just proves the old adage, "Children learn what they live."

Being in public gives me the right to interact with another person in public. As long as I don't cross specific boundries, racial, sexual, physical, I can pretty much say what I want. Just as that child can scream at the top of their lungs, so can I (if I choose) scream at the top of my lungs (not at the child, I think that Pepper oops I mean assault is illegal in many juristrictions), correct the parents on their obvious shortcommings, or even express my opinion of their lineage......http://www.vintagetraveltrailerart.com/VintageVacation.gif

This resepctful discourse, this back and forth discussion is the hallmark of our great country.

To paraphrase my entire legal training and experience, as regards our Constitutional rights (which by the way are G-d given, not man made) is as follows......

Your freedoms end where my nose begins.

And some froggy POVs that guide me through life....

1) From ST-TOS, "Aye Captain, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me!"

2) From my sainted Mother, "Just because you are paranoid, Doesn't mean that they are not out to get you!"

3) All by myself, "Stay away from short, mean spirited drawven Dentists, especially one who is pricklish and has many sharp dental picks!!!"

4) And from you too dear friend, "SSR is not the best overall DVC, by far!"

-Tony

My DW gets involved everytime she sees kids in dangerous situations. Like standing up in a shopping cart, leaning way out to get candy, while their Mom is jabberjawing on her cellie about what color skirt to buy.

She is usually greeted with annoyance. However, once we got to see the kid fall and land on their head in a Costco, after the Mom refused to get involved. Felt bad for the kid, kinda though Mom asked for it though........

[cheapmom]

2) From my sainted Mother, "Just because you are paranoid, Doesn't mean that they are not out to get you!"
Oh my God- this one is classic.

[Daitcher]

Dave, for once I disagree with you ;)

Blasted was too much. "Please mind your own business", "Thanks, but I'll raise my children you raise yours," would have been sufficent. But to blast the OP just proves the old adage, "Children learn what they live."



Blasted was too harsh, I agree.

BUT how would you like it if I came into your practice and told you how to run things? As rude as some of these kids can get and as clueless as some of these parents are, it is still even more rude to butt into somebody's business. Report them to staff if you must, ignore them if you can, thank your lucky stars they aren't your kids behaving like this but save the parenting for the parents.


DAVE

p.s. I'm virtually always in agreement with Tony, just not on this one.

[burcs]

Dave, for once I disagree with you ;)
My DW gets involved everytime she sees kids in dangerous situations. Like standing up in a shopping cart, leaning way out to get candy, while their Mom is jabberjawing on her cellie about what color skirt to buy.



the only time i yelled at a random kid (in a "what the .... are you doing" way) was at our gym's family locker room. they provide plastic bags (similar to the ones at grocery stores for your produce) for wet swimwear. anyways, i walk in, see this 7 or 8 year old by himself (rest of family was in changing room) with one of these plastic bags over his head, intentionally breathing in and out. i could see water vapor inside the bag. pretty disturbing. i didn't yell at him when i saw him, though, he had already removed the bag. i yelled when he did it again.

uhh...

p

[greenban]

Blasted was too harsh, I agree.

BUT how would you like it if I came into your practice and told you how to run things? I don't like it at all, it is already here and called Cookbook Medicine and Governmental Regulations. Physicians are quickly being reduced to syringe monkeys! As rude as some of these kids can get and as clueless as some of these parents are, it is still even more rude to butt into somebody's business. Report them to staff if you must, ignore them if you can, thank your lucky stars they aren't your kids behaving like this but save the parenting for the parents. We do mostly agree here, but after 5 minutes I will politely ask a parent to remove their screaming infant from the theater, or the teens in front of me to stop texting, as the light from their phone's displays is distracting. If that polite request doesn't work, I get a manager.


DAVE

p.s. I'm virtually always in agreement with Tony, just not on this one.

We usually agree because we are two Wild n Crazy Guys!!!!

http://forums.klipsch.com/forums/storage/9/1024204/wild_and_crazy_guys.jpg

-Tony

[Daitcher]

the only time i yelled at a random kid (in a "what the .... are you doing" way) was at our gym's family locker room. they provide plastic bags (similar to the ones at grocery stores for your produce) for wet swimwear. anyways, i walk in, see this 7 or 8 year old by himself (rest of family was in changing room) with one of these plastic bags over his head, intentionally breathing in and out. i could see water vapor inside the bag. pretty disturbing. i didn't yell at him when i saw him, though, he had already removed the bag. i yelled when he did it again.

uhh...

p



See I would have ignored that as well, in fact I would have egged him on............


Just kidding, obviously. There are times of personal safety when one must intervene.


DAVE

[burcs]

See I would have ignored that as well, in fact I would have egged him on............



accelerate darwinism?

[Daitcher]

accelerate darwinism?



EXACTLY!!!!



DAVE

[DVCerLee]

Parents who don't control their kids at home don't control them on vacation either. What's worse, even good kids can have meltdowns at Disney due to over-tiredness and heat.

What's important is that those of us who are trying to raise good kids do our best at Disney and set a good example and let people know that it can be done.


Ahh, crowds of annoying kids......yet another reason to travel off-season!

[BoardwalkMomma]

I agree!

Case in point (not Disney, but relative):

I met my family for lunch at a local taco joint, nothing fancy, just fast food. Still, this is a very small store. There are 3 aisles and one of them is for the ordering line. There were 2 tables of 20-something moms with a pack of toddler to school-age children with them. They let the kids stand on chairs in the middle of the isle, spin is circles until they got dizzy, and otherwise just run around and make lots of noise while they sat their chatting obliviously.

Meanwhile, I am sitting a few tables away with my husband, 9 and 8 year-old. We are ducking spinning children and trying to make our table shrink, if possible. My 9-yr old turns to me and says, "Mom, that is a circus over there."

Pretty pathetic when a child can observe bad behavior and a parent won't.
:dunce:

[glypnirsgirl]

Oh well, I am one of those people that will say something to misbehaving children. I do not say anything to their parents --- unless they are the ones misbehaving. I have no qualms telling a child, "I cannot enjoy my tacos while you are screaming in my ear." I do not say it mean, but just as a statement of fact. I do not tell the child what to do --- I don't think that is my place. I believe that I am entitled to express myself and how I am feeling.

I think that most children are simply too egocentric to realize the effect that they are having on other people. When my son was little, I would normally ask him when he was misbehaving, "How do you think that you doing X makes your friend feel?" so that he could get in the habit of thinking about his affect on other people.

If I get blasted by a parent that thinks that I should mind my own business, so be it. Its worth the risk to me.

Elaine

[BoardwalkMomma]

(And to DB's credit, they actually have a prohibition on all Disney talk at their house, as they don't want to do a trip until they think their child is ready to do so in a well behaved manner).



Exactly right! We did not take our kids to theatres until we knew that they were old enough, and well-behaved enough to sit still that long and actually enjoy the show.

Having said that, when I shelled out Fri evening-priced tickets for my whole family to watch Shrek 3, none of us could enjoy it because the family behind was constantly talking. They also brought a 3-yr old that could not sit still and they let him continually walk up and down the aisle right behind our heads. When he wasn't doing that, he was standing with his head poked next to my seat and was pulling my hair. I finally yelled ouch, grabbed my hair and turned around.

The theatre had a cry room. All they had to do was take the child to the cry room and they could continue to enjoy the show, and so could the rest of us. Did they? Nope.

It was the worst experience that I have ever had at a theatre. When the movie was over the offending family got up and left, didn't bother to make eye contact even. Now if this had been a matinee showing, I would not have been suprised to see small children at a Shrek movie. But this was 8pm on a Friday night.

I wrote a letter to the theatre asking if it would be possible to send an usher or two into a movie once a showing or something so that things like this did not have to happen. The theatre did send us 5 free passes, so that was nice. I would have much preferred to actually get to watch the movie the first time, though.

[cheapmom]

You know- I am recalling a pretty crazy experience I had at wdw on my last trip. We were at the new Nemo show at AK- My DS (4) was on my lap. I was worried that he wouldn't be able to sit through the show and was prepared to take him out if needed. I was lucky enough that I had my dad there who could stay with my other kidsa nd my 5 year old niece if I needed to make a getaway.

Now- the family behind us included a mom, 2 youngsters (3-6 years old) and a baby around 2 years. The 2 year old cried and made lots of noise before the show. No big deal to me- even though it was right behind my head. When the show started - to my delight- my son realy liked it and was quiet and good. But the 2 year old kept reaching around my seat and grabbing my son't glasses off his face. He had a wet lollipop also which he managed to touch me and my son with. Then the mom would pickup the kid and try to forrce a pacifier on his which made him scream. She never took the child out of the theatre.

Because of my situation- I realized- she had 2 choices- take them all out and disappoint the other two who were enchanted and mezmerized (a viable option) or stay and be a nuissance. There was no winning choice for that woman. I know many of you think it is a no brainer- she should have left. Not me. Sure I was a bit judgemental- I was thinking I could have dealt with it better than she did- but who knows. Life is too short to worry about this kind of manutia. I am not going to make her feel worse by telling her what she already knows- that her kid is bugging me.

I probably wouldn't have noticed her conundrum had I not been in a similar situation. Maybe I am too easy-going but really- in the long run- does it really matter.

[BoardwalkMomma]

All of this to say, my kids aren't perfect either. But we have tried to raise them to be polite to others in public places. They don't always remember to say "excuse me" and they are not always aware enough of their surroundings. Heck, my 18-yr old still hasn't fully realized that he doesn't live in a bubble.

My husband was on Main Street USA with my, then 8-yr old daughter when she had a melt-down because he was making them leave the park. Did my husband ignore her scene-making, or brib her to be quiet? Nope. He gave her the "your going to be paddled right here in front of God and everyone if you do not stop this at once" speech. Did it work? You betcha. Did some people around him laugh, did some shake their heads? Yes and Yes. Did he care? Nope. Did it work? Yep!

Do my kids still love their Daddy and MK? I double-dog betcha. Will my daughter pull that stunt again? I doubt it... besides, we, ummmm, bought DVC. They know that there will be lots of other trips!!

As their parents, we watch them when they go through the buffet line, or to refill a Coke if they aren't with us. We watch to see that they aren't doing the very things that we cannot tolerate other children doing. So, we know that they aren't touching the food on the buffet and then leaving it, and that they are waiting their turn for a certain food instead of pushing poeple out of their way.

If we see them do something wrong like fail to excuse themselves, we point it out and make them correct that mistake. It takes five seconds to say "I'm sorry, excuse me" to a senior citizen or anyone else that you may have not noticed in time.

My point is just that no one has a "perfect" child, and no one is a "perfect" parent. That does not excuse obliviousness from either party.

[vwl mom]

Blasted was too harsh, I agree.

BUT how would you like it if I came into your practice and told you how to run things? As rude as some of these kids can get and as clueless as some of these parents are, it is still even more rude to butt into somebody's business.

I wouldn't go into their home and tell them how to "run things" but once you take the little darlings into a public place, well, that's a different story. There is a different standard - if you stand in front of the TV to eat your popcorn while singing along in your home, so be it, BUT if you do that in a theater near me when I am $50 into the evening to bring my 3 children to a movie, then you deserve to be reminded that it's not your living room. (And if it continues, get the manager involved.)
I agree with the poster that said most kids don't realize how they are affecting the people around them but if you bring it to their attention, MOST of the time, it is resolved quickly.

[nono]

Parents who don't control their kids at home don't control them on vacation either.


Yep. And then my kids get in trouble from me :rant: because they observe the bad behavior and then sometimes try it out.

[Rozzie]

Oh well, I am one of those people that will say something to misbehaving children. I do not say anything to their parents --- unless they are the ones misbehaving. I have no qualms telling a child, "I cannot enjoy my tacos while you are screaming in my ear." I do not say it mean, but just as a statement of fact. I do not tell the child what to do --- I don't think that is my place. I believe that I am entitled to express myself and how I am feeling.

I think that most children are simply too egocentric to realize the effect that they are having on other people. When my son was little, I would normally ask him when he was misbehaving, "How do you think that you doing X makes your friend feel?" so that he could get in the habit of thinking about his affect on other people.

If I get blasted by a parent that thinks that I should mind my own business, so be it. Its worth the risk to me.

Elaine

Oh I agree with every word Elaine. (as much as it pains me to disagree with Dave :tilt:) And believe me, I try to be very tolerant and ignore behavior since I'm not a parent. But good gracious, if I'm paying to eat in a restaurant, or paying to see a movie, etc, I'm speaking up. It's my g-d given right to spreak up, I am the one that works my arse off for the money to do those things. Usually DH though has the best line, and it really gets attention. Especially if it's a child laying beside our table screaming bloody murder "Doesn't he want you to make you have children, he's sooooo cute." :dazzled:

[AFMom]

Kids aren't perfect and parents aren't either - and we do have to take in kids in public while "being in public" is still a learning experience for them (otherwise they can never learn). If I see a kid misbehaving, and the parent reacting appropriately - well - that's just part of growing up. But when a kid is misbehaving and the parent is too( or just ignoring the situation) that makes me steamed. I've actually heard a mom (with a handfull of kids) at theater showing loudly exclaim (when her kids were annoying EVERYONE) that "She had paid as much for her tickets as we had for ours - and that she had a right to watch the movie". That's where the problem lies. Drives me up the wall.
We now have a home theater system with an 8 foot projection screen..... I'm going to happily wait for movies to come out on DVD just to avoid the theater - everytime we go - at least 5 people make me want to walk out. Not worth the aggravation for that kind of money.

[CRSNDSNY]

Now- the family behind us included a mom, 2 youngsters (3-6 years old) and a baby around 2 years. The 2 year old cried and made lots of noise before the show. No big deal to me- even though it was right behind my head. When the show started - to my delight- my son realy liked it and was quiet and good. But the 2 year old kept reaching around my seat and grabbing my son't glasses off his face. He had a wet lollipop also which he managed to touch me and my son with. Then the mom would pickup the kid and try to forrce a pacifier on his which made him scream. She never took the child out of the theatre. .
If that were me, I'd take my child out if they were disrupting....no matter how much I wanted to see the show. That's just the way it goes when you have young children. We had to leave two shows early on the Disney Wonder in December because my daughter (2yo) had had enough.

I think it is rude in nearly any situation to impose a screaming misbehaving child on those around you. I have two and still cannot hack listening to someone else's.

[JimP]

I have no qualms telling a child, "I cannot enjoy my tacos while you are screaming in my ear."

Elaine,

A better approach is to buy the value meal (3 tacos).. that way you have an extra one to stick in their ears.

/Jim :)

[Daitcher]

Oh well, I am one of those people that will say something to misbehaving children. I do not say anything to their parents --- unless they are the ones misbehaving. I have no qualms telling a child, "I cannot enjoy my tacos while you are screaming in my ear." I do not say it mean, but just as a statement of fact. I do not tell the child what to do --- I don't think that is my place. I believe that I am entitled to express myself and how I am feeling.

I think that most children are simply too egocentric to realize the effect that they are having on other people. When my son was little, I would normally ask him when he was misbehaving, "How do you think that you doing X makes your friend feel?" so that he could get in the habit of thinking about his affect on other people.

If I get blasted by a parent that thinks that I should mind my own business, so be it. Its worth the risk to me.

Elaine



I have to say you guys are winning me over. I can see the points being made here and the ones that really got me thinking were your post quoted here and the movie theatre example.

It is sticky subject for sure. In the end I guess each circumstance is different and should be handled differently.

For me, I'm just staying out of it. I recently had a situation happen at a neighbors house (a good friend by the way). My son was playing with his kids while we were there for a get together. My son was asked to stop doing something I guess.(I missed it as I was socializing) When he didn't stop doing whatever it was the guy grabbed my son by the arm and scolded him basically saying that when you are at my house you follow the rules. My wife was steamed but out of good neighborism (is that a word?) kept her mouth shut and told me about it later. It made her VERY uncomfortable. I wasn't happy about it either as I'd never treat someone's kid that way. So that is where I'm coming from, I wouldn't treat anyone's child that way by either putting hands on them or scolding them. Sure I expect rules to be followed but I can get that accomplished by taking away a toy or privledge or simply ending the playdate.

I follow that in public even more so with strangers. It just seems like crossing a line, IMO. Also, I'm never mad at the child but I go get steamed at the parent either allowing or enabling them in that behavior so it isn't like I'm immune to this stuff. I pity the kids for not having better parents.

Thanks for the great thread.


DAVE

[JimP]

Dave,

Your story about the neighbor dusted off some old brain cells.

When our kids were young... my wife organized a neighborhood play group... and each family would take turns hosing the group. One boy was VERY into guns, swords, army guys, and anything else that was a weapon. A different family had a very pacifist attitude about life. When it was their turn to host the play group... they politely asked that "little GI Joe" not bring any of his normal play things to their house. He showed up as requested... and was shown a nice pile of blocks to play with. Young GI Joe went over... picked one up, tossed it over his shoulder and yelled "BOMBS"!

/Jim

[burcs]

the guy grabbed my son by the arm

dude, there is a big difference between speaking up and actually making physical contact, especially with kids. your wife handled it better than i would have.

i wasn't there (obviously) but it sounds to me like a line was crossed. maybe not in the setting you were at, but say at a movie theater? nuh-uh.

p

[glypnirsgirl]

Young GI Joe went over... picked one up, tossed it over his shoulder and yelled "BOMBS"!




You just cannot control children.


When he didn't stop doing whatever it was the guy grabbed my son by the arm and scolded him basically saying that when you are at my house you follow the rules. My wife was steamed but out of good neighborism (is that a word?) kept her mouth shut and told me about it later. It made her VERY uncomfortable. I wasn't happy about it either as I'd never treat someone's kid that way. So that is where I'm coming from, I wouldn't treat anyone's child that way by either putting hands on them or scolding them


And I would NEVER lay a hand on someone else's child. I just do not believe that it is acceptable. What if the man had said slightly louder than the first time, "(child's name), that is against the rules, you need to follow the rules." Without making contact, yelling or scolding? Would your wife be comfortable then?

It really is a fine line between protecting your own rights without stepping on someone else's.

I have to deal with children coming in to my office on a regular basis. Some children are great and they just sit in a chair and read one of my children's books and they are happy. Some are everywhere and into everything. Trying to play games on the computers, pulling open file drawers, disturbing everyone. When they are here in my office and they are misbehaving and their parents are not setting limits, I just look at the child and tell them they have two choices, they can sit in the chair or they can sit in my lap, but they are not allowed to wander around. They almost always choose sitting in the chair. The rare child that chooses sitting in my lap usually just needs some attention. Its better sitting behind the desk with me and looking at their parents (and having their parents look at them) than being left out.

My own son has an autism spectrum disorder. One of his teachers expressed it best, "Jordan never starts trouble, but once trouble has started, he is always the second one there." It was really important to just never let things get out of hand with him, because it was difficult to rein him back in. I see my speaking directly to a child and telling the child how I feel (not what they should do) to be my part in helping the child see other people's points of view. I am really calm and quiet about it, not abusive or ugly. Almost always, the child responds by moderating his own behavior. I figure that if they know how to behave, they just had a temporary lapse of memory, the child is probably usually well parented. Frequently, the child is the only person who is even aware that I have spoken to them. I think that it actually reinforces the parent rather than undermining the parent. The child then knows that it isn't just his/her parents that finds misbehavior unacceptable, other people do as well.

So it serves two purposes, first it usually works and I get to enjoy myself. But almost as important, if the child continues to misbehave, it does not bother me as much because I have expressed myself.

I think that events that most recently happened to us color how we feel about topics such as this that are close to our hearts.

Elaine

[AFMom]

I have at least 3 or 4 "spares" at my house all the time, mostly boys. And I absolutely do insist they follow my house rules when they are here. I expect other adults to keep my kids in line if I don't see something happening as well. I've even brought a boy to tears - but he was hurting another child and being extremely rude to me. However - I NEVER touch someone else's kid.
I have no problem with someone telling my kids to behave - heck - if I miss what they are doing - I'm glad someone else caught them! But - again - they certainly shouldn't touch them.

[nono]

I've even brought a boy to tears


Now, when you can bring a 17 yr old boy to tears, you'll be ready to be an Immaculate Heart nun. :slyasafox

[vwl mom]

I see your Immaculate Heart nun and raise you one School Sister of Notre Dame :drillserg

[Daitcher]

And I would NEVER lay a hand on someone else's child. I just do not believe that it is acceptable. What if the man had said slightly louder than the first time, "(child's name), that is against the rules, you need to follow the rules." Without making contact, yelling or scolding? Would your wife be comfortable then? Elaine

More comfortable but not really. Any type of scolding when the parents are present isn't really something we'd ever do so we expect the same. We were there so we would have handled any behavior without his intervening.



DAVE

[Daitcher]

dude, there is a big difference between speaking up and actually making physical contact, especially with kids. your wife handled it better than i would have.

i wasn't there (obviously) but it sounds to me like a line was crossed. maybe not in the setting you were at, but say at a movie theater? nuh-uh.

p



I hear you. I wasn't aware of this until we went home. I had went to grab another beer and was chatting with his wife. Believe me, I wasn't happy about it. At the end of the day this guy is a great guy and a great dad. He just demands respect in a different way than we do. If it ever happened again I'd take care of it.

This thread is great and I applaud everyone for not attacking others and putting some obvious sensitive issues out there. This is the difference in this forum and others that I've been a part of. Nice to have some adult discussion.


DAVE

[richswit]

I've been going to Disney for decades (I'm in my 60's now) and bad parenting at Disney is nothing new. The distribution of parenting capabilities from excellent to horrific is the same at Disney as anywhere else. A lot of parents have great parenting skills, but unfortunately, some shouldn't have kids.

I was at OKW in May, and saw a horrific example. A couple were sitting on the bench in front of the Hospitality House, waiting for a bus. Their son, who looked to be about 2 years old, was wandering in the street while the parents sat back and did nothing. I looked at the bell man who just shrugged. I finally said to the parents, "I don't think it's a good idea for your kid to be in the street. He could be hurt." They just looked at me.

I didn't know what more I could do, so I walked over to the bellman and asked him if anything could be done. He said "We can't touch their kids" but he did finally go over to the parents and ask them to make sure their son stayed on the sidewalk. They got off their backsides and finally got him.

Usually, I ignore horrible parenting. But when a child is in danger you have to act. I share the frustration of many of the other posts to this topic.

[Kynna]

Wow! a lot has gone on since I was last at this thread. I think the biggest thing that causes debate on this subject is intent. If I say anything to a child who isn't mine it's never meant to degrade the parenting skills of others and it is NEVER presented in a harsh manner.
Statements like "Oh, you are clearly very excited but that sound hurts my ears do you have a quieter way to show you are excited?" or "Punching Mickey probably hurts his feelings. Can you give him a High Five instead?" or "When you kick my seat it really hurts my back, can you please try not to do it?" or "the blade on that knife is very sharp and I'm worried you might hurt someone when you wave it around like that, can you pretend this straw is a sword instead?"
I've actually had to use every one of these statements but for a different character than Mickey. In almost every case I ended up having a light hearted chat with the other parents about our kids.

I have no use for finger wagging and no patience for anyone laying a finger on someone elses child!

I understand where some people prefer the "say nothing" approach but I choose a proactive approach to most things. These are the kids who are going to be running the country when I'm old!! If they don't treat me with respect now..........................................

[nono]

I was at OKW in May, and saw a horrific example. A couple were sitting on the bench in front of the Hospitality House, waiting for a bus. Their son, who looked to be about 2 years old,



WHEW! It was NOT Mr. Nono and me, though we were at OKW in May and our S could appear to be about 2. We never waited for a bus at HH though. And we do try to keep the obvious Darwinism moments in our kids to a minimum. :slyasafox:slyasafox

[NYDVC]

I have at least 3 or 4 "spares" at my house all the time, mostly boys. And I absolutely do insist they follow my house rules when they are here. I expect other adults to keep my kids in line if I don't see something happening as well. I've even brought a boy to tears - but he was hurting another child and being extremely rude to me. However - I NEVER touch someone else's kid.
I have no problem with someone telling my kids to behave - heck - if I miss what they are doing - I'm glad someone else caught them! But - again - they certainly shouldn't touch them.

Well, my child was shocked one time because she said "shut up" at a neigbors house and was told that was not used in this house. It was like a cuse word to them. We would use it in a joking manner at times and our daughters would copy it at times. We believe attitude in what you say is a biggie. We explained to our daughter that other homes were different and she should not use it even in a joking manner there. In retrospect I think maybe we were a little casual with the term and put our child in an embarrassing situation. It certainly was not sher fault. The neighbor was very polite but stern and DD just did not understand.

re touching: I do wonder if the "touching" was grabbing the arm to get his attention. I would of went to the mother and told her what I wanted and ask her to intervien. If it was any more then that I would of had words.

[cheapmom]

We say "shut up' is a bad word in our house too! If you say it you get 5 minutes on the step!:tsktsk: Now lately, my 12 year old and her friends say it as an alternate to "No Way!" - or "You're Kindding!"- I just tell them not to say it around my little one.

[jiggerj]

Try as hard as ya can to raise kids right and then some "grown-up" comes along and screws it up!

We were in a VERY crowded grocery store and ds got knocked into by another adult which in turn knocked him into another adult. He said excuse me to the woman he bumped into. She gave him a VERY dirty look. DS looked at me and I repeated to her that he said excuse me. She turned face forward to us and said "I heard him the first F'ing time"

Shocked to say the least...I told ds so that she could hear that unfortunately there are some people that were raised without any manners. (and a few choice words from this Mother Lion when ds was out of ear range!) :tsktsk::mad::box::tapedshut

[Daitcher]

Try as hard as ya can to raise kids right and then some "grown-up" comes along and screws it up!

We were in a VERY crowded grocery store and ds got knocked into by another adult which in turn knocked him into another adult. He said excuse me to the woman he bumped into. She gave him a VERY dirty look. DS looked at me and I repeated to her that he said excuse me. She turned face forward to us and said "I heard him the first F'ing time"

Shocked to say the least...I told ds so that she could hear that unfortunately there are some people that were raised without any manners. (and a few choice words from this Mother Lion when ds was out of ear range!) :tsktsk::mad::box::tapedshut



This post sums up my feelings on this. I control only what I can control and that is my son and my actions. That is all we can do because our kids will be exposed to jerks like this unfortunately.

Rich's example above strikes a nerve with me also. The one about the shut up comment at a friends house. Kids can be so sensitive and I know my son is. It can be scary or downright damaging for a kid to be scolded by a random adult. They just don't get it at that age. I simply try to smile at them and if possible distract them from the behavior.

I'm not about to embarrass someone's kid over using the word shut up or some other trivial thing. Danger, yes, I'll gently intervene. Adults behaving badly..... that's different, they know better.


DAVE

[CRSNDSNY]

We were in a VERY crowded grocery store and ds got knocked into by another adult which in turn knocked him into another adult. He said excuse me to the woman he bumped into. She gave him a VERY dirty look. DS looked at me and I repeated to her that he said excuse me. She turned face forward to us and said "I heard him the first F'ing time"

Shocked to say the least...I told ds so that she could hear that unfortunately there are some people that were raised without any manners. (and a few choice words from this Mother Lion when ds was out of ear range!) :tsktsk::mad::box::tapedshut
That's dispicable (sp?)!
My husband has NO PATIENCE for swearing around our children. He will tell whomever it is what he thinks of their word choice. :tsktsk:

I cannot believe some of the stories out there...thanks for sharing. We've had our run ins as well through the years.

I think the instance that irritates me the most was from this last trip. Our daughter (at the end of our trip) had had enough and started to melt down at the end of our meal at the Garden Grill. As soon as she started to show the signs and begin her melt down we got the heck out of there as fast as possible. We got our children in their strollers and started quickly walking out of FW and toward the WS -- we were staying at the BWV and wanted to get there quickly so we were seriously speed walking. All the while we were speedwalking, DD was screaming crying and totally breaking down.

Some jackass (male probably in his late 60s or so) decided that it would be funny to walk up to us and scream back at her in her face which just irritated her more. I really thought there would be a confrontation because my husband was LIVID.

Why do adults think it is ok to act like this and even more so intervene with our children??!! This still makes me mad thinking about it to this day.

So I suppose the moral of my story here is that our children learn a lot from us and the way we act. We have to be careful. And just like jiggerj said, they will learn from others, unfortunately, not always what we want them to know.

[nono]

Rich's example above strikes a nerve with me also. The one about the shut up comment at a friends house. Kids can be so sensitive and I know my son is. It can be scary or downright damaging for a kid to be scolded by a random adult. They just don't get it at that age.

DAVE

Dave, DAMAGED by being told there's a set of rules to adhere to in someone else's house? If a child is a guest in someone's house, that's not a random adult (I would hope!). And if that adult is so out-of-control as to be damaging in their reprimanding, why on earth would a parent let the child go there???

What age are we talking here? My kids are 4 and 1 and they are constantly reminded that they need to behave, and I do believe they get the nuance of different situations meriting different types of behavior. Maybe I expect too much out of my kids. But they sure do seem to "get it."

But then again, their situation is different than most. I'm probably the scariest adult they know! :yes:

[NYDVC]

Dave, DAMAGED by being told there's a set of rules to adhere to in someone else's house? If a child is a guest in someone's house, that's not a random adult (I would hope!). And if that adult is so out-of-control as to be damaging in their reprimanding, why on earth would a parent let the child go there???

What age are we talking here? My kids are 4 and 1 and they are constantly reminded that they need to behave, and I do believe they get the nuance of different situations meriting different types of behavior. Maybe I expect too much out of my kids. But they sure do seem to "get it."

But then again, their situation is different than most. I'm probably the scariest adult they know! :yes:

The case I was discussing with my kid, the kids were in gramer school, about 8 or so and I certainly dont think they were "damaged" more confused. she asked me about it so it did "affect" her in some way.

[AFMom]

Yeah - the kid brought to tears knew me well - but was only in tears really because they knew I would tell their dad about it when he got back! The kids I'm around now are 10/11/12 age range - and what this kid was doing was dangerous. I do think we need to put a little fear in them occasionally. I mean - in about 4 years, he'll be taller than me! I had a small amount of fear of my own parents and the adults that had influence on me - and I stayed out of trouble. Now - I don't think kids should live in fear - but a healthy amount of respect for authority and an understanding that adults will get mad at you - well.... any way - if I can't tell a kid what to do in my home - that kid isn't coming over here.
Of course - my kids do refer to me as "The Hammer"....... :cool2:That will come in handy when they are teenagers!

[Daitcher]

The case I was discussing with my kid, the kids were in gramer school, about 8 or so and I certainly dont think they were "damaged" more confused. she asked me about it so it did "affect" her in some way.



Exactly.

Nono, damaged is a little harsh. I shouldn't have used that word but yes it has an affect on these kids. My wife can still recount the time she was carrying a bag home to her house when a neighbor drove by. She proceded to wave and becasue of the bag I guess the neighbor thought she had given him the finger. She was maybe 6 at the time. He proceded to scream at her about her giving him the finger. She was taumatized by it.

My son is six and yes it affects him when he has been yelled at by people. Sorry but all the posts in the world will never make me understand how it is OK to scold, yell at, or touch anyone's child. It isn't and it is none of anyone's business what these kids are doing, period.


DAVE

[NYDVC]

Exactly.

Nono, damaged is a little harsh. I shouldn't have used that word but yes it has an affect on these kids. My wife can still recount the time she was carrying a bag home to her house when a neighbor drove by. She proceded to wave and becasue of the bag I guess the neighbor thought she had given him the finger. She was maybe 6 at the time. He proceded to scream at her about her giving him the finger. She was taumatized by it.

My son is six and yes it affects him when he has been yelled at by people. Sorry but all the posts in the world will never make me understand how it is OK to scold, yell at, or touch anyone's child. It isn't and it is none of anyone's business what these kids are doing, period.


DAVE


sounds like an idiot neighbor to me. I would never expect a 6 year old to decide to flip someone the bird. I certainly would of questioned her on what she did and I would of let you know about it. screaming seems ridiculous even if she did do it. telling you would of been much more appropriate. I certainly would want to know about it if it was my kid.

BTW: my DD did just that to me. she ofcouse learned in on the bus and did not have a clue what it meant or even that it was bad. She just said hey dad look and proceeded to tell me I was number one. Poor thing, the look on my face was enough to start her crying. I was shocked. I immediately realized what happened calmed her down and ask who showed her that. .and explained it was a really bad thing., etc. she did not know the name of the kid so I was not able to take it farther. It was going to happen sometime anyway. :sosad:

[nono]

Exactly.

Nono, damaged is a little harsh. I shouldn't have used that word but yes it has an affect on these kids. My wife can still recount the time she was carrying a bag home to her house when a neighbor drove by. She proceded to wave and becasue of the bag I guess the neighbor thought she had given him the finger. She was maybe 6 at the time. He proceded to scream at her about her giving him the finger. She was taumatized by it.

My son is six and yes it affects him when he has been yelled at by people. Sorry but all the posts in the world will never make me understand how it is OK to scold, yell at, or touch anyone's child. It isn't and it is none of anyone's business what these kids are doing, period.


DAVE

So, let me get your position clear. If your child is at my house, I am not allowed to tell your child when he does something that my own children are not allowed to do in my house? (Rich's example specifically).

[nono]

sounds like an idiot neighbor to me. I would never expect a 6 year old to decide to flip someone the bird. I certainly would of questioned her on what she did and I would of let you know about it. screaming seems ridiculous even if she did do it. telling you would of been much more appropriate. I certainly would want to know about it if it was my kid.

BTW: my DD did just that to me. she ofcouse learned in on the bus and did not have a clue what it meant or even that it was bad. She just said hey dad look and proceeded to tell me I was number one. Poor thing, the look on my face was enough to start her crying. I was shocked. I immediately realized what happened calmed her down and ask who showed her that. .and explained it was a really bad thing., etc. she did not know the name of the kid so I was not able to take it farther. It was going to happen sometime anyway. :sosad:


You mean like this?
http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d51/nono_33/onemoretimewithascolding.jpg

My husband's buddy, knowing I generally mimic back while correcting, was ready for this shot after D said she wanted to ride "One more time" and signaled with the middle finger. It's his most prized shot of the entire trip...couldn't believe he caught it along with my "look." Ha! He still hasn't caught my Look of Death yet. Which is just as well as it'll melt his camera lens. :goodnevil

[NYDVC]

You mean like this?
http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d51/nono_33/onemoretimewithascolding.jpg

My husband's buddy, knowing I generally mimic back while correcting, was ready for this shot after D said she wanted to ride "One more time" and signaled with the middle finger. It's his most prized shot of the entire trip...couldn't believe he caught it along with my "look." Ha! He still hasn't caught my Look of Death yet. Which is just as well as it'll melt his camera lens. :goodnevil

How funny. :jawdroppi

and I though allowing my kids to occasionally say shut up was bad :ROTFL:

[vwl mom]

So, let me get your position clear. If your child is at my house, I am not allowed to tell your child when he does something that my own children are not allowed to do in my house? (Rich's example specifically).

I'm with you, Nono, if you're in my house or in my care, you follow my rules and all of my friends know that. (I do have one friend who doesn't let me take her son on outings, etc., because she lets him take his skateboard on the train and ride it while waiting on the platform, or in the store, or down the steps of the library... and, like AFmom, I'm known by my children -and students- as "the hammer"! I take it as a wonderful compliment.):sunny:

[Daitcher]

So, let me get your position clear. If your child is at my house, I am not allowed to tell your child when he does something that my own children are not allowed to do in my house? (Rich's example specifically).


No, not exactly. Our son is told when he visits someone's house it is their rules.

What I do is when a friend is over and the kids are acting up I address the rules to my son directly if possible. Lets say they are throwing rocksinto the neighbors yard, I'd say "Justin, you know that we don't do that, please stop or playtime is over." At the very least I say "Hey guys, lets settle down." I don't embarass or single out the child (guest). If there is behavior that is dangerous I stop it immediately. Anything else I'd go to the parent later if it was more than typical kid stuff. I'd let them handle it later the way they see fit.

We all parent different.


DAVE

[OttawaWendy]

This has been an intermittently interesting serious discussion and a very funny one.

I don't have children yet, but I do lead a youth group at my church and I have four nieces and nephews (2 of each). It is very difficult to keep silent in the face of different parenting decisions, but I know that is the respectful thing to do. My brothers and sisters-in-law and I are never going to be the same people and therefore we are never going to make the same choices. That's part of being human. But when I watch them, for example, eat nothing with any protein, vitamins or minerals for days in a row, it is hard to be quiet.

As a comparison to the "obey the rules in the house you are in" discussion, I expect my youth group to follow my rules when they are with me for a day or weekend or longer. Of course, since they have 10+ different sets of parents, they all have different rules, so it can't be a free-for-all and I impose the rules I want. Fortunately, every parent backs us up in this. Also fortunately, all of my youth group were essentially well parented and they are all fine caring people at their core, even if sometimes idiotic unthinking teenage behaviour covers that up.

[Mary]

I so agree with Dave on not correcting someone else's children. the only time I have is when a situation could be dangerous--throwing rocks would count as possible danger by the way. When my daughter was young she threw a dinner roll from her high chair down in the aquarium restaurant (can't recall the name) in Epcott and hit some unsuspecting man in the head. I was mortified but the man and his friends thought it was hysterically funny so there was no issue to deal with (we did send a drink over ). Am I correct in remembering the restaurant as being more tiered than it is now. You never know what the best kids will do and sometimes as strangers we overreact--I figure they have enough going on if there children are behaving like that. Mary

[burcs]

BTW: my DD did just that to me.

my 4 yo daughter did that to me as well, although it was obviously unintentional. she was repeating something she learned in school, the "where is thumbkin" thing, and then proceeded with where is pointer, ring, and pinkie. then she holds up the middle finger, looks at it, has this quizzical look on her face, all of a sudden she realizes and says "we don't do this one..."

ok, OT, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

[NYDVC]

As a comparison to the "obey the rules in the house you are in" discussion, I expect my youth group to follow my rules when they are with me for a day or weekend or longer. Of course, since they have 10+ different sets of parents, they all have different rules, so it can't be a free-for-all and I impose the rules I want. Fortunately, every parent backs us up in this. Also fortunately, all of my youth group were essentially well parented and they are all fine caring people at their core, even if sometimes idiotic unthinking teenage behaviour covers that up.

There may be advantages of different rules at "your" house. Our kids may "get away " with some things because they are at someones house. We had a close friend who would literally provide a menu for breckfast when they were over and "serve" them. It was clear that was a special time at THAT house. :bugeyed:


The truth is if you hand you kids over to someone you need to be confident that within reason they have similar parent philosophy/skills. certainly in the safety standpoint.

[nono]

No, not exactly. Our son is told when he visits someone's house it is their rules.

What I do is when a friend is over and the kids are acting up I address the rules to my son directly if possible. Lets say they are throwing rocksinto the neighbors yard, I'd say "Justin, you know that we don't do that, please stop or playtime is over." At the very least I say "Hey guys, lets settle down." I don't embarass or single out the child (guest). If there is behavior that is dangerous I stop it immediately. Anything else I'd go to the parent later if it was more than typical kid stuff. I'd let them handle it later the way they see fit.

We all parent different.


DAVE

That's not what you said in your earlier quote, which is why I asked the pointed question. I believe you said it is "none of anyone's business what these kids are doing, period" in the context of follow up to Rich's post (which you might not have intended so directly).

Because to be clear, it is my business and my responsibility as to what goes on in my house for all kids. It isn't my job or responsibility when I'm at WDW, just my kids -- how do I get them to stop following me? :Paranoid:

I don't see how it is damaging to say directly to a child, "I'm sorry. We have a rule here of no feet on the furniture" and moving on. I think punishing, screaming or grabbing a child is way different than a simple statement with no emotion loaded into it. I would also submit that adding a "Isn't that right, Jimmy?" (where Jimmy would be my son) is a condescending virtual slap in the face to the child visiting, 'cause it makes the visiting kid seem like he's not in the know of how to navigate in this foreign land. I'm not saying you do this, I'm adding my own shades of meaning and how even just a statement could turn ugly and embarassing as you say.

[nono]

How funny. :jawdroppi

and I though allowing my