DSNY FN
02-13-2006, 09:18 PM
Here are a few important things to think about that you probably have
never thought about.
*Can you cry under water?
*How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
* Why do you have to "put your two cents in," but it's only a "penny for
your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?
*Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried in for eternity?
*Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
*What disease did cured ham actually have?
*How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be
a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
*Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
like every two hours?
*If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
*Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
*Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?
*Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see
you naked anyway.
*Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
*Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
*If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about
him?
*Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
*If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
*Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
*Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs!
*If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why
didn't he just buy dinner?
*If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
*If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
*Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?
( Why did you just try singing the two songs above?)
*Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but
call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
*Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
*Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first
place?
never thought about.
*Can you cry under water?
*How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
* Why do you have to "put your two cents in," but it's only a "penny for
your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?
*Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried in for eternity?
*Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
*What disease did cured ham actually have?
*How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be
a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
*Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
like every two hours?
*If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
*Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
*Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?
*Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see
you naked anyway.
*Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
*Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
*If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about
him?
*Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
*If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
*Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
*Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs!
*If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why
didn't he just buy dinner?
*If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
*If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
*Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?
( Why did you just try singing the two songs above?)
*Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but
call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
*Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
*Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first
place?