Our much loved family cat was killed last nite-:(

[jiggerj]

What a horrible night last night-

I let "chow" out as he is an indoor/outdoor cat- Within 15 minutes I had a phone call. Neighbor down the street "recognized"him in lying in the road. I had a "cat tag" on him with our phone number. I couldnt even finish the call and had to hand the phone to dh.

Chow was born here in the house and has been part of our family for 11 years. He was quite the talk of the nieghborhood as he was HUGE!! (didnt know he was going to be so big when he grew up!) Beautiful long haired black and white- He was amazingly smart cat as well. Came when he was called , was best friends with our golden retreiver but the hardest part is that he was also best friends with my 6 yr. old son-

My heart is just broken over the loss of chow but my heart was just shattered for my son.-

I didnt know what to do...how to tell him?...do I tell him? ect... Ds has never had a loss and I have never been in that position-I didnt want to tell him he ran away (Why did chow run away? Didnt he love me?) He got lost (then he would be waiting for him to come home) or tell him what really happened in a toned down for a 6 yr. old way-

Fortunately or unfortunately my decision was made- He over heard my dd on the phone in another room on the phone- Then it was time for a sit/hug down- This had to be one of the hardest things I ever had to do- He just loved chow so much- I tried to pick my words very carefully and I think I did ok- He cried and I did too- He had many questions that I didnt know how to answer-

He made a Valentine for chow and wanted to know that next time we go to Disney when we are in the plane if he could put it on a cloud for Chow- Its just so hard to try to explain-

I am very lucky that the neighbor called so we could go and get Chow- with all the snow we received last night we would never had found him especially with the plows-

My heart is just so broken for the loss of a great friend to this family and especially for my little boy who has lost one of his best buddies (they cuddle every morning) But they wont be able to this am - ok now I am crying again-

Sorry- needed to share and ask for some advice for my ds to somehow make this easier. Its going to be a rough day today-

[RweTHEREyet]

I have sobbed thru your whole thread and my heart is aching for your family. Please know that you are getting lots of pixie dust from me and mine and lots of :grouphug: throughout the coming days. Nothing can ease the pain for you right now and I have no words that can comfort you, but I wanted you to know that I understand that you have lost a true family member. I hope you have lots of pictures of your beloved Chow and maybe can focus on fond memories about Chow today. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[withdisneyspirit]

Ohhhh, I am so sorry for you and your family's loss:tearsaref Pets are so much a part of families and lives...until we got a kitten; I didn't know I could love a cat so much either (grew up with dogs)!!!

Your DS will probably need lots of extra hugs for awhile...:grouphug: Chow sounds like a most excellent cat and well-loved family member...

[dvcconvert]

Oh Laura--I'm so sorry.

Our pets are our kids and sadly we've gone thur this more than once. I'm sure others are more qualified to give you advice on how to handle this with DS than I am. It maybe (depending on DS) that this is one of those life lesson moments in which as we are growing up we are forced into being exposed to the root of what makes life so precious - it's fleetingness.

Follow your heart, you are a wise and kind person and in the end-dispite the bumps on the journey- all will be well. God Bless.

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[DisFlan]

Oh, man, I'm wiping the tears right now. I SO feel for you. It's a hurt like no other. :grouphug:

DisFlan

[greenban]

We too are cat people. We have always burried our departed friends in our back yard with the whole family in attendance. This has worked really well for us.

Sending you love and hugs.

-Tony

[nono]

Jiggerj,

I'm so sorry about your beloved Chow! What a shock for your entire family! Hugs and prayers your way....

[Stimpy]

I'm so sorry! :hug: It's so heartbreaking, even more so when they are so close to your children. Your heart breaks in pain for your beloved pet and then again for the pain of your children.

You definately did the right thing in being honest with your son. Now he knows and he can grieve rather than hoping and looking for his friend to come home.

You are all in my thoughts and prayers!

[Rash]

Anyone who has a pet understands what your feeling right now. We grieve over their loss as we would any other member of the family. I'm truly sorry for your loss.

[kathleena]

So sorry. :hug: Our little fur babies are just family like everyone else. Will give my two extra hugs today and think of you.

[athenna]

:tearsaref Oh girlfriend, I am sorry to hear this. I can see how much chow meant to you and your family. I, too, am sitting here w/tears in my eyes imagining how sad little man must be. I'm sending you lots and lots of hugs:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:
Please give little man a gigantic hug from me.

[mickeyndvcfan]

So sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. We have lost a few beloved dogs over the years. We , like greenbanned, have buried our lost friends in the backyard. Sending hugs and pixie dust to your family.:grouphug: :dust :grouphug: :dust :grouphug:

[KNWVIKING]

So sorry to read about your loss Laura.

If it is any kind of encouragement, I can tell you that you DS will get over this much quicker then you will. My boys buried more then their share of family pets - pets they were very close to - and they bounced back within days.

[mssparrrow]

Laura,

So sorry for your loss!!!

[idratherbeinwdw]

Oh Laura I feel so terrible for you. I love my pets like family members, and I experienced a similar tragedy with a dog when my kids were younger, so I empathize with you totally.

I wish I could be there to hug you in person. I hope the supportive comments here have been helpful. And I hope as time passes you will recover and you and your family will be able to get some comfort from the happy memories you had with your beloved chow. http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_9_16.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZZzebXXX):grouphug:

[jiggerj]

Thank you so much for your words of comfort my friends- It has been a tough morning- Chow is obviously first and foremost on DS's mind- Been doing alot of talking and answering questions the best that I can with some distractions to help him...helps me too- as well as knowing I have caring friends like you all here- Thank you-:grouphug:

[luvthisstuff]

Oh wow, I am so sorry for your loss. You did the right thing by telling him the truth. Kids do seem to come through this pretty well and pretty quickly.

Hugs to you and your family.

[Deep-Thots]

Very sorry to hear of your loss. We lost one of our cats last June, and it was very hard. Pets really become part of the family, and I think it's appropriate to mourn them as a member of the family.

[AFMom]

I'm so sorry! Our pets are part of our family as well. I can't imagine my DS loosing his cat (whom I adore as well!).... I think a short service would be good for your DS - let him know he can say goodbye - maybe he could even say a few words to his pet. but really - all you can do for your DS is what you are doing already. Talk to him, let him grieve, and answer his questions. Let him know everything he's feeling is normal, and maybe make sure he knows Chow didn't suffer at all.
Sending loads of pixie dust your way.......

[AmyBeth68]

:sosad: Oh my goodness, that just broke my heart. You guys must be so devastated. ((((HUGS))) to you all....we've been through this as well with our little ones and a beloved kitty and it's so hard for them to understand. I'll keep you guys in my thoughts.

[bavaria]

Oh no! My best wishes for your family and especially your DS. Cats have always been part of my families lives (other animals at times, but ALWAYS cats)

Most have lived out long lives, but when an animal dies due to an accident or other episode before it's time is up, it seems especially cruel.

Sending you and your family a very big :grouphug: as you send your beloved to kitty heaven.....

[Colorado Belle]

Oh Laura,
I am so very sorry.
I think pets are even harder to lose than our older relatives.
We always think of our pets as our children and our responsiblity.

We too have a pet cemetary on our land, and it seems to help all of us, children and adults, to have a ceremony. For me, I know I just like having my pets here; like they protect our land and family and other pets.

Please give Coop a big ole hug from me, and tell him how very sorry I am. I think that the poster who said that kids get over these losses somewhat easier than we do might be right...my DD always took these things very hard, but she seemed to bounce back quicker than I could. So remember to take care of you too, ok?

[ripleysmom]

I'm so sorry for your loss. My cat will be 18 soon and I will be heartbroken when he goes. I can only imagine how you feel. :(

[onecdn]

I am so very sorry for your family's loss. My DS was younger (I think 3 turned 4) when both our beloved dog (13 y) and cat (11 y) died within about 4 months of each other. They were the first pets that I had ever had, and I was completely saddened by the losses (a few other horrible things happened at that time too that made these losses especially difficult). We explained to our son to remember that they had long happy lives. We told him that now they were in a very happy place where our dog could chase lots of rabbits and our cat could play and sleep as much as she wants. Like Tony, we buried them (next to each other) in our back yard with the family in attendance. We actually had the cat and dog cremated before they were buried- we live in a rural area and it would have been horrific to discover they had been dug up by some other creature. I really do think that having a little ceremony does help to soothe the pain. Eventually we buried our longlived goldfish (about 8 y) next to those two as well. Every once in a while DS still cries a little about losing them, even though I am not sure he even really remembers the animals when they were alive. I also think when he first was told about it, he didn't really understand death, but it is a learning experience for everyone. The loss is so very sad, but a part of life for everyone too. It probably helps them to understand and come to terms with the loss of other members of family when that time comes. Patience and understanding and lots of hugs go a very long way.

[cobbler]

OH how sad :(

Hugs to you and your little guy :hug:

:tearsaref

[JustDenise]

I'm so sorry for you and especially for your ds. I thought my kids would be devastated by our loss last week and they seem fine. I am the one who is having the hardest time. We are going to make copies of a photo and put them in frames for everyone who wants one in their bedroom. Maybe you could do that for your ds, too?
Best wishes.:(

[PoohsPal]

jigger - I'm so sorry for your loss. WIsh I could help. :gruophug:. I'm sure you will find the words and your ds will find comfort in knwoing how much his mother loves him. :hug:

[jiggerj]

Just a quick update and some big :grouphug: to my friends here-

DS definately had his moments yesterday. Little steps... day by day...

DH and I will take Chow today to the vet. We will have a buriel for him under his favorite tree in our yard as soon as the snow melts and we can see the grass again. Good idea - thank you- :)

Again a big thanks to you all and many :grouphug:

[jnrrt]

I'm so sorry, jiggerj. That's so hard, and especially when you watch your little guy hurting.

[Rozzie]

I have always thought the hardest things we do in life is losing a pet. Pets give us such unconditional love and compainship. The worst pain is losing a pet in a unexpected way. I am so sorry for your loss.

I turn so inward when I grieve, I can't imagine how hard it must be to have little ones who are hurting also. I hope the many memories you have of him will warm your days to come.

Many hugs and thoughts sent to you and your family.

[lllovell]

*hugs* Jigger...I am so sorry for your loss.

I think telling your son the truth (even if it wasn't what you "decided" but was decided for you) was the best thing you could do. Children are amazing. They understand things we can't begin to comprehend once we lose our youth. Being as upfront and honest with him as you can will allow him to grieve and yet never lose a special memory or moment with his beloved pet. It might take a while for him to stop asking questions or have the occasional thing pop into his head that will take you by surprise. While none of us would wish the pain of a lost pet (or loved one) on a child, all of us can appreciate how honesty and expressing emotions can help them to deal with difficult things and can also teach them that we don't control the world around us.

Side story about how children can understand more than I....my mother and Charlie, my oldest son, were so incredibly close...they would lie in bed for hours "reading" books and talking when he was very young...he was her vitality through fighting breast cancer...her will to live...he meant the world to her and she to him. When she died, I was truly heartbroken, not just for myself - but how do I tell him? How could he possible handle thing terrible thing? He did better than I did I am sure although it took about a year before my truly happy child appeared again. On her birthday last year, 1 year 4 months after losing here, we all went to dinner to be together - - these battles of broken hearts are best fought in groups for my family...on the way home Charlie asked me how Grandma died. I explained that she had something wrong with her that even though the doctors tried VERY hard and Grandma tried very hard, she couldn't be cured. So she died. He said no no - HOW did she die? I was trying to figure out what exactly to tell him...so I went for a different approach. She was taking really strong medicine to fight the bad cells inside her and we think the medicine caused her heart to stop working. Stop working? Yes I said. No Momma he said from the back seat, her heart didn't stop working...she still loves Grandpa very much. Of course, I burst into tears...but God love that child....he sometimes knows so much more than I do.

We love our children and would protect then from all the harms of the world but sometimes the best we can do is hold them while they hurt and then they hold us back.

Laura

[matysgranma]

Oh gosh, Laura. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Keep the lines of communication open. Let DS talk, cry or whatever he feels. You, too.
We're cat people, too, and had to bury our share of our beloved pets. They just become such a part of the family. But, like any thing else, time does heal. It just hurts so darn much. I know when my son was about 9 years old, he had lost his old buddy "Max", he was devastated. Cried so hard,,,I felt so sorry for him. After a few days, he asked me if it would be alright to get another cat. We brought him to the humane shelter and he picked out the cutest little kitten and Derek named him Tuffy.. Long story short, my son, now 23, just bought his own home and brought Tuffy with him. I couldn't believe he wasn't going to leave the cat here, but he said to me, "Mom, I'd be lost without him!" What could I say? So both my boys are on their own.

[withdisneyspirit]

Boy, both of you tugged at my heartstrings this morning! Aren't kids great (when they're not driving us crazy:faint: )

[matysgranma]

Amen to that! And trust me, it doesn't end when they "grow up"! Just a different craziness!

[jiggerj]

Laura and matysgranma Thank you so! I needed to hear your stories- Kids are amazing-

DS is doing better than I am. And by talking and remembering the happy, funny things that Chow did is filling our hearts with love and easing the sadness-